Like no one knows you, no one cares if you are there or not, like you could
scream and no one would notice? Where you feel this loss of hope, loss of joy?
Whether it is because of what is going on around me, the dark spiritual climate
in southern Romania, or a combination of the two, these thoughts have been
coming up sporadically. Either way, the Devil has been whispering, no,
screaming these things at me. Those of you who know me know my love for
smiling, laughing, deep conversations, and going on random adventures with my
awesome friends. Well, the desires are still there, but the ability seems blocked.
Some squeaks out now and then, but the wall is there. These thoughts and
struggles have been on my mind and little did I know my teammate, living right
with me, is feeling so similar.
A few excerpts from Woody’s blog she posted today. You are
more than welcome to keep us both in your prayers on this:
“Romania has been the most challenging month so far for me.
Our ministry started off slowly. One reason being most of our whole team was
sick the first week and a half. Also, the pace in Romania is much different
than it was in Haiti. The term “missionary” is very new to the people
here in the southern part of Romania. Whereas, unlike in Haiti, if you’re
white, you are probably there to help the people and most likely a missionary.
Here in Draganesti-Olt, the way to approach people about the Gospel is much different-
the idea of a relationship with Christ is SO new here and a missionaries
approach has to have a much stronger emphasis on developing a relationship with
the community first.
Personally, I’ve also been struggling with feeling intimate with God this
month. I’ve have time to read my Bible more than ever, but Romania is a tough
place- it’s affecting me emotionally and spiritually. I’ve been
(somewhat*) homesick for one- missing
the ones I love a whole bunch. And there’s a lot of fear in me here I’ve never
felt before and a sense of lost hope……I’m thankful for a God who is loving and
despite the deep hole I’m in right now, I still know He’s good. I know I’m His
beloved.
… Like I said at the beginning of my blog, I’ve really been
struggling here in Romania, but this night was an awesome reminder that God is
moving here in Draganesti-Olt. Even though there is a way smaller Christian
community, I see hope for the future of the people through the 12 couples who
have moved their lives here to minister to this community because God
individually called each and every one of them all to this closed off
spiritually dark place. I am honored to know them all. As my team leader Tommy
said: all it takes is a single spark of hope to set a forest ablaze!!!! AMEN.”
I declare in
God’s name that the Devil will have no foot
hold on this village, on the county, on this region, on this country, on
me, on
Woody, on my team, on my squad, on ANYONE. Wherever we go, wherever you
are
right now, you are surrounded by God’s amazing creation and His
workings. I
have been able to bear witness to Him moving mountains. Satan, how dare
you
intrude on this party?
As Woody said, the pace has been slower here and
things have
been tough, but I have seen God’s presence here. I have seen His
presence while
helping Dorothy with Saturday Bible School, while helping dig a sewage
pipe
ditch; I’ve seen it in this amazing couple Michelle and Kevin, at the
church
here in Draganesti-Olt, passing out invitations to an event in Michelle
and
Kevin’s neighborhood, in simply cooking meals with Michelle, in the
sweet
children and orphans I have met, and even in watching the missionary
Alex kill
a duck and Melissa de-feather it (don’t ask, or do! Ha).
I declare these negative thoughts will leave, that
God’s
presence will be felt in all of us.
The other day when I was down I started journaling
my
thoughts. I learned this trick from Keith Pepsny, to listen and write
down what
you think God would say back. Well, I was journaling away and God was
speaking
like crazy so I just started writing.
“My grace is sufficient”
“You are my beloved”
“You can do all things through Me”
“Pick up your cross and cling to me”
“Cling to my wisdom. Keep my word written on your heart”
“My grace is sufficient”
“My grace is sufficient”
“I will never leave you”
“I will give you strength and endurance”
“I can do all things my child, so let me”
“Have faith, trust me”
Sometimes it is so good to be reminded of these things. God is
so good, He truly is teaching me so much, and really there is so much good
going on around me. God knows what He is doing, just need to keep trekking and
trusting Him, the rest will work out. It really is all about perspective, and
like my dad ALWAYS says “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react
to it”. I really am thankful for what I have, the fact that I am here, and the
fact that God is working. I believe He can see us through anything. God you are good, sooooo good 🙂
