At the beginning of this month I kept clinging to the promise that Paul reveals in Philippians. It says in verse 6 of chapter 1, ” being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” I found that I needed to remind myself of this daily because I felt alone and that God wasn’t working in my life. I know that this wasn’t true but I didn’t feel like any change was taking place.
Now I feel that God is in the process of helping me to die to self and breaking my heart for what breaks his. Again I have to remind myself of this verse, that its all part of the good work He has begun in me. He has begun it and will keep working in me if I let him. So right now I’m learning to say yes to all that He is doing in my life even when it’s painful and trust Him that this word of him working in me is truth.
Last night we had a time of worship with everyone from the H squad. It was so good to be encouraged by being in the Lords presence and praising God together for what He has done in each of the teams. For the last couple weeks I had felt numb to everything that I had been seeing and experiencing. I have felt sad for the boys that live on the street that we have met and I have felt sad leaving the kids of the farm. I didn’t really know how to process all that I have seen. Last night a break through of tears came as I allowed myself to cry for the kids and cry as I had to let go and give them to God. It was in that moment that I realized the verse in Philippians wasn’t only for me. It was also for the people who we have been able to know here. I have to trust that God is going to be faithful in the life of Julanni and will protect her and draw her to himself as she grows up. I have to trust that He isn’t going to leave her but will continue to bring people to take care of her and share with her about Jesus. He has begun a good work in her life and it will continue. Saying goodbye to Julanni and the people of the farm was hard but knowing that God is faithful and will be faithful to her and the others has helped me to let go.
