So here lately I been thinking about my life and the direction it is right now and where it has been and where it is going.
It’s my desire to live a great story…but do you ever get the feeling you’re in a slow part of the story? Or that you’re waiting for the prologue to end so the real story can begin?
I know I’m halfway around the world, getting to do and see more than I deserve but there is still that nagging feeling that I’m missing something….that I’ve left out a vital part or the equation. I mean I left everything to follow God to a place where I never would have dreamed of. You would think I’d be living the dream and ministry falling at my feet and salvations and healings!
Don’t get me wrong I’m not so full of pride to think that I’m some super Christian and I should see millions of salvations or healings. It’s not about me. Or my own ability, but I expected to see something…more
But I’m here in month three and have seen no salvations, prayed for a few people who were not believers but were willing to be prayed for, and seen a few people free from some pains. Yes that is something and God is moving. But I expected something I don’t know…more DRAMATIC! Haha I don’t know, something! I mean I watch children, clean toilets and teach some English (not very well by the way, I hope some of my old English teachers read this. They would laugh.) I just thought I would be doing more.
So I sat down in a park here in Vietnam one day and was praying. I was talking to the Lord about how it was hard having so much passion and desire to see so much, to see the kingdom of God explode but seeing so little. I asked Him why did He put so much fire and passion in me if I would never get to release it. (basically I was bummed out and was complaining a bit). And I was wondering why ministry opportunities felt so few and far between.
Well you can guess what happened next…yes Jesus did what He does best, cuts to the heart of the matter.
In a loving way He corrected my thinking. He said if I want to live a great story I can’t sit back and let it happen. You see for the last three months I’ve been sitting back waiting and ready for this great ministry thing to happen to confirm “Yes you are supposed to be here!” “This is My plan for you!” And as you may have noticed from my earlier paragraphs…it didn’t happen that way. There was no thunder clap. No angel chorus or audible voice to confirm it for me. I came here on this journey by His request with no promise of what would happen.
And because I did that I thought greatness would just fall into my lap. Well no that’s not the case. As I listened He continued to speak to my heart. He reminded me of how He was no longer my master but my friend, my groom and He wanted to do life with me. WITH me…Yes He is the author of life but…He has handed me the pen. I want to live a great story; one that won’t be forgotten. I have lived my life in such a way that I’m always following the Lord as I should, but there is more. He wants me with Him; co-laboring, co-authoring, co-creating. This is the dream of God.
I don’t want life to happen to me…I want to happen to life.
You know what? Ministry doesn’t have to look like a million saved. A thousand healed or freed. Ministry is me getting up every day and happening to life. It’s loving the one in front of me with all I’ve got and loving God. Keep it simple. Whatever that looks like for that day. I get a blank page everyday.
Why not?
Why not do the impossible?
I get a blank page.
I get to dream with God. The only thing that stands in my way is writer’s block.
**pictures are not my own:
http://www.google.com.my/imgres?q=writers+block
http://www.google.com.my/imgres?q=something+missing
