Cambodia, here we are! First month as an official Squad Leader – New country, new ministry, new team I’ll be with for the month, and a new role. So far it’s treated me so well, besides the fact that my shoe got chewed up by the ministry contact’s dog. You could easily say that it was my fault for leaving them out; however, in Cambodia, it’s culturally appropriate to leave your shoes outside of the door.
I finally feel like I’m living my perception of what the Race actually is. Our schedule is pretty full with eventful days, which make up a week full of various things. We are going into Children’s Homes doing lice treatments, dramas, bible lessons, games, and other fun activities. We are sharing our testimonies and are asked to prepare sermons for Sunday services, ministry to drug addicts in shackles at a center, teaching English 5 nights a week, choreographing dances for the Christmas play, doing house visits and praying for people and leading youth group. Some days, it’s exhausting, but all days it’s super rewarding. Not to mention, our contact’s wife cooks THE BEST food I have had on the Race. We eat so well – hopefully it won’t show at the end of the month.
This morning, we had a long period of time off, until we teach at 4pm. We were asked to help pick up trash around the property. At first I wasn’t very excited about this – As I put my shoes on, grabbed my plastic bag and started scouting around the area in which I was going to start with, I discovered my first piece of garbage and bent over to pick it up. As I did, I realized it had also been chewed up by the dogs. My first thought was, “If it wasn’t for the stupid dogs, we wouldn’t have scattered trash to pick up.”
I quickly recognized this complaining Spirit and started telling myself, “Do everything unto the Lord.” “You aren’t working for men, but for God.”
It was in that moment I asked God to help me make the most of this chore and have some “trash talk” with me.
As I begin to pick up piece after piece, I was a little grossed out, but continued on my way covering quite a bit of ground. I then came across a letter that had been torn to shreds. It was all in one area in tiny, pieces. I pick up a couple of the shreds and quickly wanted to leave the rest. It was too much work for what seemed to be too small to really even make a difference. I questioned, “Is it really worth picking up?”
As I started to question, the Lord began to “trash talk” with me and said that many times in our lives, Christians included, have property to clean. They have pieces of trash that needed to be picked up and removed. Many times we pick up the big pieces that stand out, that everyone can see, that we feel are bigger and worse than others, but we choose to leave the small pieces of trash that in our hearts and minds don’t seem to make that big of difference because they are small. Because of this, instead of throwing them out we keep them and we hold onto them – not realizing that trash isn’t neutral. Trash is trash, big and small alike.
I sat their convicted and compelled to spend 5 minutes picking through the grassy area to pick up EVERY. SINGLE. tiny piece of paper that remained on the ground surrounding me.
I finished that area, and moved on to a place that was enclosed by bricks and was surrounded by shrubs and bushes. Underneath this bush was a little patch of all this trash. I reached down to pick up the trash and when I did I realized I had picked up two huge, dead roaches along with it. The girl that I am, screamed and immediately dropped the trash, repulsed at what I had just discovered under this piece of garbage. I then asked myself, “Should I pick this up again, or just leave it?”
Of course the answer wasn’t just to leave it after the Lord had shown me that all trash is important to remove, but it was much easier to leave there than to deal with what was underneath it.
The Lord again then started his “trash talk” and showed me that Christians often times leave trash around because once they try to pick it up to dispose of it, they discovered things that are much deeper than the surface level piece of garbage. They find ugly things, such as root issues such as rejection, abandonment, insecurity, fear, doubt, and things of that nature. However, in that moment we have a choice to either leave it there or remove the trash and deal with the ugliness that may be hiding underneath it.
It’s moments like these that I am thankful for the Holy Spirit to convict me of when I am complaining and encourage me to pursue the Lord in all things. I am thankful that although the Lord is above all and all knowing, He speaks to us in ways we can understand and ways that hit us right at home. He is so intentional. He is always speaking. The true question is – Are we willing to listen?
