Last week, Mid-morning.
Cool breeze, sun smiling with joy in every beam, birds chirping busy about their day’s work, and here we are. We, a Squadmate and I, are sent out on a mission. A mission of boldly approaching each door, one at a time and greeting it with a gentle knock in hopes of someone to be home. Not just someone, but a generous individual who would be interested to make a donation towards my Squadmate’s race.
As the knocks grow louder and time begins to creep by, hope quickly dwindles as the houses appear to be empty and the windows have closed the dark, stale air in.
My faith rested in the undoubted fact that God answers prayer.
Before this journey, alone in my bedroom my heart murmured something that was greater beyond myself, greater beyond money, but what appeared to be the Lord’s purpose in this. Not just this, but the heart and intention of every moment of everyday.
“God, I pray that no matter what your will be done. That our hearts wouldn’t be set on money, but it would be set on your kingdom invading earth. That people would be different after their encounter with us. Here we are, send us. If we don't get any money, then you have other ways of providing.
AMEN.”
Because of this my heart remained content. I knew God was faithful to make this journey everything it needed to be. Whether that was countless “No’s” and vacant houses, this time belonged to Him simply because I had prayed that it would and was willing to accept whatever it was that He had in mind.
Twelve houses down and little to no interaction with anything other than barking dogs and a newspaper man, this particular door we now approached was flung wide open with the light shining through to represent an opportunity. “Knock! Knock! Knock!” It was obvious that someone was home, so we anxiously awaited the individual.
A lady, a little older, with glasses that covered her eyes, which were so deep in pain any one would notice approached the door and greeted us with a smile. A smile that seemed to only last a moment, then quickly fade. I instantly knew she was worn out, tired, and her heart was heavy.
My Squadmate begin to deliver the speech in which we had put together for every person we had the privilege of talking to. She wrapped it up with, “Is there anything we can do for you for a donation for our missions trip?”
Immediately her response demanded the tone to change and the atmosphere to grow cold,
“I wish I could give you money, but my husband just had a stroke. I can't afford to.”
In that moment, my previous prayer ran through my head over and over and over and over again, until I could feel it pounding out of my chest.
This is His kingdom at hand. This is our Chance.
This is our purpose greater than receiving donations.
It was then I stepped in and asked a very, very, very, simple question,
“Is it okay if I pray for you and your husband?”
In this moment two crucial things took place: Brenda broke down, set back by the request and I realized so much.
It didn’t take powerful theological words of some long religious prayer for Brenda to feel loved.
It took someone caring enough to devote time to the pain she was experiencing and simply acknowledging the fact that she needed prayer.
Brenda walked out of her house with huge crocodile tears in her eyes, overwhelmed already with the compassion of strangers and started to let the circumstance flood out of her mouth with words. She gave us greater details and was very vulnerable with the reality of the situation.
As we laid our hands on her and prayed she continued to sob and squeeze us tighter and tighter. When we were done praying she gave us one of the best hugs I had ever received, said these words,
“Perhaps you girls didn’t come here for you, but you came here for me. God knew I needed someone and He sent you.”
And sealed it with a kiss on the cheek.
Those words hit me. Hard. and Deep.
Not only because this woman was radically impacted, but the harsh truth of the matter that many times it’s easy to set your focus on a goal and forget about the people around you.
The people like Brenda, who are in agony, waiting for an answer.
Perhaps when Brenda told us she couldn’t afford to donate to us, we just walked away and bashed her for “lying” because she just didn’t want to give us any money because we were strangers. Furthermore, the several cars and campers in her driveway didn’t justify the statement “I just can’t afford to.”
Perhaps judgment would've ruled where love had the chance to change.
Perhaps we would’ve never noticed the pain and the state of vulnerability she was in.
Perhaps we wouldn’t have asked her if we could pray with her because of our own insecurities or fear of rejection.
Perhaps we left our encounter with Brenda without fulfilling God’s purpose and will in that moment.
So many things could’ve happened, but I am thankful that in that moment a life was changed through the availability of two human souls seeking nonetheless than the kingdom of God by His grace and His power.
Not only that, but God was preparing Brenda’s heart as well as she was seeking the kingdom of God.
When God has a divine appointment in mind, he has prepared the hearts of both people. In that preparation and obedience to His leading is where we find heaven invading earth, all for the sake of His glory.
You may hear me say this a million times, but God moves through our availability.
Availability to His leading. Can you imagine what's on the other side of your obedience?
My heart cries and longs that His will be the center of everything that I do. I may have plans, I may have ideas, I may even have expectations, but overall that may my heart, mind, soul, and body be in submission to what He is speaking and what He is doing; for the Father's hand is always at work. In that, His will is accomplished and the lives of others are eternally impacted.
Before leaving, I did reassure Brenda that our time together was not over. Before we leave in July, I told her that we would be back to see how she was doing. I can't wait for our second encounter with Brenda. This sweet, sweet, lady has changed my life.
