So we’ve been in Honduras for a little over a week a now and I am just getting the chance to update. Things are beyond awesome. The peace that welcomed us into Zion’s Gate is a peace that I’ve only felt in very few places. The air is captivated by refreshment and life is nonetheless abundant.
Zion’s Gate is headed up by Tony and his wife, Nidia. Tony is by far one of the most candid people I know and his heart is so golden. From the paintings on the wall, the rocks, and everything else, to the moment I heard him speak and the love flow through words out on the ears of us people, I knew this month would be nothing less than amazing. At Zion’s Gate a culture of great faith, redemption, restoration, and love is cultivated and kept so well. Here Tony and Nidia have a ministry to boys off the street that they take in, disciple, and offer a home to. Their family dynamic is one I hope to see in my future. There doors are always open to anyone and everyone.
Again, this month our whole squad is together; however, we are all split up on different schedules doing different ministries each week that we are here. The first week we are working with a wonderful lady name Gracie who has a home for young women who have babies due to incest or rape and children that have been labeled the “unwanted", along with girls with special needs. We will then move on to hospital visits, home visits, and what’s considered the yellow building. The yellow building is a place that people don’t go and never have, but a place where love is needed. We will be playing soccer, building trust, showing consistency, and daring to look upon the population as if they are human as well. We then will be able to poor into Tony, Nidia, and the boys by making improvements on their home and wrapping up the month with taking Jesus to the streets and having youth nights.
The first week, before ministry started, us as a whole squad we had a worship. Worship has always been one of my favorite things. I couldn’t have been any more ready or excited to dive into the presence of God corporately with my brother and sisters, especially after a hard month. This was the start of a new beginning and a time of refreshment.
While we were singing, I felt called to remove myself as far as I could without removing myself. I walked down the back step and felt so alone with Jesus in that moment. Suddenly, I felt lead to kneel on the ground. So I did. This was nothing new for me. After a while of just praying on my knees with my head rested on my hands, which gentle crossed each other on the step ahead, I felt called to lay face down on the ground. This too was nothing new to me, but my first reaction was, “God, is this not good enough? Why does my position matter? This is comfortable right here.”
The convictions weighed me down to the point of obedience. I laid face down on the ground. My head was again rested upon my hands that cross each other on the ground. I laid there and began to pray. I then again was interrupted by a voice to remove my head from the top of my hands.
“God, why? Is this not good enough? The floor is layered in dirt. Why does my position matter? I’ve been obedient already. This is comfortable.”
In that moment, I stretched my hands straight out. I instantly breathe in the first layer of dirt that covered the floor and immediately was humbled and accompanied by a still small voice that declared, “This is your body in full submission to me. Now submit everything else you need to me. Let me take all of your fears. Let me take all of your doubts. Your hurts. Your pain. Your confusion. Your insecurities. Your questions. Your frustration. Your future. Your family. Your everything. Fully submit it all to me for I am faithful to carefully handle it all in a way that is best for you.”
It was then I cried. It was then my spirit was reminded of the beautiful presence of God. It was then I was fully submitted.
Looking back on the situation and reflecting on what happened that night, I can’t help but to relate it to my everyday life. I can’t help but to imagine if I would’ve just stayed kneeling at the step because I was comfortable or even if I would’ve never put my face to the floor because of the dirt and the discomfort I knew was ahead.
I can’t help but to acknowledge how many times in my life I have lived a life that says, “God, I’ll be obedient until I am uncomfortable.” In this mindset, we will miss everything that God has for us in that moment. That beautiful moment of surrender, which brings freedom in so many areas.
It’s heart wrenching to think I could’ve potentially chosen to lessen my experience with God because of my unwillingness to be obedient to Him. The opportunity to be obedient to God is such a blessing, which will always lead to freedom and greater than the state of comfort ability you feel you are at to begin with. How my night would’ve been completely different if I would’ve neglected taking the next step the Lord was asking of me.
Many times we tend to get comfortable with where we are. We get complacent and say, “God this is good enough. I like it here. I’ll camp out for a while.” While the Lord is pulling and tugging on our hearts to go further in Him. Not for the sake of losing comfort, but to take you to a place of experiencing greater freedom in Him.
I challenge you to ask the Lord which areas you need to move from the step to the ground in and which areas you may need to move from the ground to the face in?
What areas in your own life are you robbing yourself of an amazing experience with the Lord because you are comfortable and unwilling to move?
