Most days this month, my hand is equipped with either a paintbrush or a pencil. We’ve gone through several gallons of green paint—trims, accent walls, stair steps, and rolling hills are all freshly painted in the community center we are supporting this month. Next month, kindergarten will be starting back up, so we are working diligently to prepare the rooms and supplies for the start of the school term. It’s looking great with the makeover! When I’m not painting, I am teaching. Our team teaches the home-schooled children of the missionaries we work with as well as other children in the community. In the mornings, I home school an eight-year old in math, language arts, and science. Every other afternoon, I teach 45-minute guitar lessons to the two other children. It’s a happy time!
This month, my life feels simple. Few outfits meet both the modesty and temperature control requirements. (It’s hot here, but showing thighs or shoulders is unacceptable). I typically have 2 or 3 options for breakfast (oats, toast, eggs) and about the same number for lunch. The schedule is simple, and the work is a good balance of physical, mental, and relational stimulation. The days aren’t rushed, and I have a lot of time to think, pray, and just be a happy introvert as I paint. I am immensely thankful. Plus, we have a BEAUTIFUL view of mountains out our window!
During this time, I can tell God is pruning and growing things in my spirit. I know because life right now, while simple and precious, is not easy! It’s a tender kindness of God to give me significant time to think and pray as well as a beautiful place in which to learn these simple–but hard–lessons. Some of the things He’s growing or pruning in me:
- Humility. If I had to boil down the main thing God has been doing in my life over the past 7 months, it would be humility. I’m learning daily how to let go of comparison, entitlement, and depending on my own strength. Instead, I am learning to genuinely see the beauty of being least or last. The kingdom of God is bizarre; Jesus serves those who misunderstand, underestimate, ridicule, and betray him. Jesus does not display his divine family heritage through oppressive (or even impressive) strength. He displays the father God by his humility and graciousness. I love that about him, and want Jesus’ humility to flow through my life.
- Communication. About halfway through last month, I began noticing passive-aggressive tendencies in myself. I really dislike when others are unclear or manipulative through their communication toward me so I took note when my thought-life reflected those patterns. I don’t want to communicate like that! With lots of prayer, self-control, and attempts at straightforward-but-kind communication, I am trying to starve out the roots of passive aggressive communication. Let me tell you: that’s not easy when you live and work with five other imperfect people 24/7! Praise the Lord for this month’s many opportunities to practice healthy communication. Praise the Lord for mercy and second…and third…and fourth chances when I don’t get it right.
- Control. Eek. This one still makes me cringe. It takes actively using lesson #1 (humility) to talk about lesson #3 (control). I’ll break it down this way…
Here’s what I can control: me.
Here’s what I want to control: me and everything else.
I want to control other people’s priorities. Duh! Shouldn’t they match up with mine?
I want to control other people’s desires. Shouldn’t we all want this instead?
I want to control other people’s actions. Let’s just all do the work my way, my style, and my timing.
I want to control much more than exists in my jurisdiction. Oof! Icky. **whimper** There’s a big gap between what I want to control and what is actually mine to control. I’m maturing in owning what I can control while letting go of my demand for control elsewhere. There are many areas I can influence but that ultimately lie outside of my control. I’m practicing using lesson #2 (communication) to use influence in a righteous way, and then peel off my tight grip on the outcome.
In this simple life of simple lessons, I need simple grace.
You could pray for grace for me, please.
Grace to be pruned.
Grace to love when I feel like it, and when I don’t.
Grace to communicate with the Lord before bringing things to others.
Grace to know when to let things go and when to bring them up.
Grace to communicate gently, clearly, directly.
Grace to let go.
Grace to accept responsibility for the things in my jurisdiction, and grace to relinquish the rest.
Grace for painting, and grace for teaching.
Among other ways, God is giving his special “Natalie-flavored-grace” through beautiful mountains, funny teammates, creative outlets, night markets, honest conversations, the ability to cry, the ability to laugh, emails from back home, prayer, a pet duck, fried bananas, and good squad leaders. God is so kind!
From Malaysia with simple grace,
Nat
