An expression one hears quite frequently on the Race is "normal."
As in, "This feels so normal!" when brushing one's hair (or teeth).
Or, "There's nothing normal about this," when being offered a block of fat on which to munch.
And my favorite, 'I just want to be normal!" when realizing for the thirty second time that day that you're the freak with the stinky chacos.
There are moments when you realize your normal is being redefined.
And now, having been home over a year, I'm worndering how many of those things have reset to their BR (Before Race) mode.
One of my biggest concerns concerns BR was that I would emerge at the end of 2011 with a large Africa belly (that doesn't mean flat, in case you were curious), thighs that could double as drumsticks and a face that looked like a marshmallow.
What? I'm shallow. That was honestly my biggest concern.
Then we launched and I gained weight and I freaked out over it and and one point even stopped eating. So of course I got feedbacked and resumed consumption of calories and gained all the briefly lost weight back.
At some point, I realized how ridiculous the whole thing was.
I redefined my normal.
And then I was home and heavier than BR Natalie would have ever admitted, and there were girls who dieted and worked out all the time and dropped the weight like hot potatoes… but i didn't.
Somehow, a year later, all the weight is gone. I'm back to my launch weight. It's almost as if 2011- with all of its large bowls of rice and noodles and ugali, without access to a 24 hour gym- never happened.
There are a lot of things about me that changed on the Race. In some areas I softened, in others I was sharpened. I grew and matured and sank my roots down deep into the richness of God's good soils and drank deeply at His river.
But as this year home has progressed, there are a lot of things that I've seen slowly resetting.
And now I have the chance to consciously decide:
Do I want to reset that normal?
The answer, of course, is no.
While I'm grateful that the physical weight is gone, I will not stand to lose the spiritual weight. Those lessons came at too high a price and I'd really rather not have to relearn them.
So what does this mean?
I need accountability. For real.
I need a mentor. Preferably not on a screen.
i need to call peaople out with grace and graciously allow them to call me out.
I need to get over myself (always).
I need to remember that the God who created the universe is alive and present, and is working in all of the tiniest details in my life, even when they don't include holding babies or hugging old ladies.
What about you?
What normals have you redefined?
Are you happy about them?
