I was browsing Facebook today and within 2 scrolls I was informed that 3 of my friends were married this week and another had twins. It’s not that I was jealous…ok, not true I’m a little jealous. I don’t want to be married to any of these guys, but they are married and I’m still not. Social media has this fabulous way of “making me” feel inadequate or less than. It’s a constant reminder of all the things on my List that I haven’t accomplished… marriage, kids, live/work abroad, etc. I thought I’d be married shortly after graduating college and having kids 3-5 years after that. It’s not how my life turned out.
I continue to hear “30 is the new 20” and “You’re still young”. Two thumbs down, but thanks for trying. I have no desire to relive my 20’s. Been there, done that, made plenty of mistakes (no worries I learned from them). TV even tried to show me it’s ok to be in your 30s and single. Sex in the City made the 30+ single life look fabulous…But, what if I don’t want to party all the time or sleep with a new guy every night. Where’s Saved in the City; the glamorous life of those who are on fire for God???
Some are called to be single, I know I’m not one of them. I used to joke with my friends that I’m a serial monogamous. When dating someone I give all of myself to that relationship. Maybe that was the problem…too much to them and not enough to my relationship with Jesus.
Silver lining…Yep, I found one. I get to live/work abroad!!! Something I’ve been trying to do for the last 3 years. It didn’t come in the form that I thought it would, but I’m soooo excited that it’s finally my time. Getting married and starting a family are still huge dreams of mine. I believe with all my heart that it’s a promise God has made to me, but this is my time to be single.
Paul says that being single is a privilege, a gift. We should unwrap it and say thank you. As a single person I have an advantage, without a family to be responsible for; I can give myself fully to God. “With the Spirit in you and the calendar clear, God has given you the means to make a lasting difference for his kingdom. You’re all dressed up, having every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3), with literally everywhere to go” (Marshall Segal). When I chose to let Jesus into my heart it meant…His Spirit, His Love, His Joy, His Peace, His Happiness, His Completeness, and His Fullness took up residency in me.
I am not incomplete because I don’t have a man. I’m complete because I do, and His Name is Jesus! (Kim Brooks)
Yes, I’m still single, but I’m also hungry for God and everything he has for me. I am learning to speak contentment over myself…”I’m single, I’m content, and I’m complete in Him”. I’ve been called to spread his word and love like he loved. So, I accept my Singledom (for now) and ask God “How can I be a blessing today?”
