I’ve been struggling with homesickness..
What really causes one to be homesick?? Is it comfort, missing loved ones, familiarity?
All of the above and more. Something I’ve experienced this month is homesickness. I don’t have easy access to WiFi so I can’t reach out to family to see how they are doing or be comforted by them as often. They get me, they make me laugh, they make me smile, they know how to comfort me when I’m struggling. Also it’s been hard not knowing how they are doing because my first month on the race my father had a bad injury at work. So I’ve been struggling with some fear there. It has been tough. I’ve had to hand over my desires to God and trust Him that even though I don’t hear from my family or am unable to reach them, that it is okay. There is nothing I can really do from Africa anyway. So what is the point of fearing the unknown. I have always felt responsible to take care of my family and make sure everything is okay. Not being there is hard sometimes. God is really showing me that they may be my biological parents and family here on earth but they are His for eternity and He is in control of their present and future, not me. God is showing me I’m not in control and is asking me to hand over my desire to control things.
When I’m uncomfortable I just think back to home and see my nice bed, my family that loves me, my friends that love me, and my cat, I see familiar food and portions, and I see freedom to drive my car on the back roads, the car I don’t have anymore because I sold it to do the Race. I think man why did I leave all that and sell my black beauty, aka my car??! Why?? So that I could take cold showers every day, or sleep in my tent to protect me from bugs and who knows what, So that I can sweat through my clothes on the regular, to be taken far away from all my friends and family, etc.
Truth is I signed up for a journey to help grow God’s kingdom and to help grow me. Signing up for that is never an easy or comfortable journey. God doesn’t grow us through comfort He grows us through discomfort. So do I get homesick? The answer is yes. What helps me past the homesick struggle is realizing my real home is with God. And my biggest desire is to further His kingdom and grow closer to Him. If that means cold showers, hard beds, sleeping in my tent on my bed because of bugs, sweating 24/7, hand washing my clothes, missing my family and friends, being uncomfortable. It’s still home sweet home, because God is there.
Now I want to share the blessings we’ve encountered too. It hasn’t always been cold showers, hard beds, and bugs. We actually had AC in our room last month, say what??!! We had clean water right out of the tap too. We’ve had easy access to grocery stores, WiFi, shopping for personal things, ice cream, peanut butter, and anything we need. This month no AC or easy WiFi access but that’s okay. This month we have a nice dorm with our own kitchen and fridge. We are a walking distance from the store. We get to play with kids every day! And we have electricity. Instead of looking at what I don’t have I’m going to start looking at what I do have.
Here’s to looking at the glass as half full!
