Today in class we took an inventory of our gifts. I have to
admit I’m not always the most self-aware person. So I started to rack my brain
of what I felt my gifts were. As I did that I realized many of the gifts I had, the
enemy in some form or fashion has attacked me in those very areas (in an attempt no doubt to weaken or destroy them.)
For example, I have the gift of speaking life/encouragement,
but most of my life I have struggled with pessimism and being easily
discouraged. I have the gift of joy, but most of my life I have struggled with
depression. I have the gift of boldness but I’ve struggled with insecurities
and timidity much of my life. I have the gift of wisdom and discernment, but I’ve
struggled most of my life with feeling stupid.
Earlier tonight I had a vision of myself guarding/standing
over a person who was huddled to the ground in protection mode, with their arms
covering their head. I had my right hand over them shielding them as I was
looking towards whatever enemy was coming at them. I had my left arm outstretched
with my hand up as if to say STOP. I saw myself fiercely shouting at the enemy,
as if shouting a war cry, defending the one huddled on the ground.
I totally felt like Gandalf, from that scene where he’s
shouting at Balrog, “YOU CAN NOT PASS!� Only I was the one screaming that at
the enemy – “YOU CAN NOT COME ANY CLOSER!â€�
Engaging in spiritual warfare (it’s real by the way) to me
is a physically active thing. I experienced this for the first time at a BURN
(24/7 prayer and worship) about 5 years ago during a time of fasting. The
Spirit prompted me to pick up a flag and start waving it around to the music.
At first I felt awkward but suddenly the flag had become a weapon and
as I was slashing it back and forth I saw myself literally slashing the enemy
and his destructive work in my life to pieces. It was then that God began
opening my eyes to the spiritual realm and just how real spiritual warfare is.
When I dance, I feel like I am stomping on the devil. Dancing
for me releases a joy that demolishes his strongholds of depression. When I
sway my arms back and forth during worship I literally feel like I am ushering
in whatever the Spirit wants to enter the room. When I move my hand/arm out as
if I’m pushing someone away I literally feel like I am pushing back the enemy.
On month 3 of the race God began speaking to me about how He
was my defender. And now in the same way He has defended me, I am now called to
defend others against the lies and attacks of the enemy. Month 6 He began
training my hands for battle. He convinced me of the authority I have (that all
Christians have) in Christ.
I understand who my enemy is – but I also understand who MY
GOD IS and who I am in Him. True I went through a season where God lovingly and purposefully allowed the enemy to attack me…but I’ve learned
that what the enemy means for evil – God will ALWAYS use for good! (Genesis 50:20) And He used that
suffering to strengthen me and provoke the righteous anger I was going to need
to walk in my calling at the appropriate time. And now is that time.
So this season I choose to exercise and walk in my giftings
to the edifying of others and advancement of God’s Kingdom. I will rise up into my calling as intercessor and defender
of the oppressed. It is time to fight and take back what the enemy has stolen from us. The battle begins in prayer and worship
…and sometimes flag-waving.
