First of all,
I have discovered that I am able to add GIFs to my blogs. Yea, amazing right? It’ll make my blog 10x more fun. & OMG its 2015 already. When did that happen?
I am currently freezing my butt off in my room. It has dropped to the 30s in San Diego. Some may laugh at that and say that’s nothing, but if you’re spoiled with perfect 70 to 80 degrees weather 90% of the year.. 30 degrees is pretty much hugging an icecube.
Also, it’s 2:17AM & I feel like this.
Why? Because I have a bajillion things to do. Take 6 more ugly (eartucked-stoic) passport pictures, get my malaria meds, do some last minute shopping, go to the bank, buy a day pack, stuff a year worth of my life into a backpack, go to a birthday party, attend a retreat, attempt to meet up with family and friends one last time, e-mail supporters back, cancel random memberships I forgot about, and make decisions that will make or break this year (well not really, but kind of really). & I have 5 days left to do all of this. Way to procrastinate Nancy.
Anyway, to the point of this blog.
God literally put me to my knees this New Years. Last Sunday (12/28/2014) at Redeemer (my current church) had a sermon on what it looks like to adore and honor God. There were a lot of good points made by Pastor Jonathan, but one thing God so evidently wanted to show me this year was the joy praying on my knees. P. Jon talked a little about what it looked like to humble yourself and kneel down in front of Christ. I honestly don’t remember the sermon… that much lol, but I remember asking myself when the last time I went before Christ on my knees in total desperation. I couldn’t remember.
So I went on with my week, kinda sorta thinking about praying on my knees sometime soon. & 4 days later I find myself on my knees… broken, in awe, and in complete joy.
I worked the night of Dec 31st. I was trying to figure out what I would do for the countdown… no service at Redeemer, some of my friends were at house parties, others were at bars, was thinking about doing some sort of mini onesie get together and drink champagne… but once my shift was over I was sort of over all of it. I decided to spend the last moments of 2014 with my parents, & they went to church.
The church they attend literally has a congregation of about 50 people. Old Korean Grandpas and Grandmas were gathered around making dumpling (Traditional korean new years food) and playing board games. I was cold, tired, and bored out of my mind. The sermon was all in Korean, and all I can understand was people yelling out hallelujah and amen in Korean. Finally the sermon was over and the pastor told everyone who had the capability to use their legs to walk up to the front and kneel. My stepdad grabbed my hand without hesitation, and a prayer session began.
My legs instantly began to feel numb. Afterall, how often do we actually kneel. I look to my right and see a young mother with her 1 year old sleeping child in her arm crying out to the Lord, to my left I see elders in their 80s proclaiming His majesty and praying blessings over the church, and next to me I hear my parents surrendering me to Him for the year 2015 as they send me off on missions.
It was so overwhelmingly beautiful. I thanked God for the opportunity & began to pray along side them… on my very numb legs. To physically be in the position of total surrender can also bring forth many many prayers. Afterall, how much do we (I) actually depend on God? I realized that by not being in America next year means there may be sicknesses, brokeness, and difficulties that my family and friends may face. But I won’t be a part of it, I can’t be a part of it. Knowing & understanding that I can’t do anything for anyone that I love when I am gone completely humbled me. But who am I to think that I am everyones fixer-uper? CHRIST is the ultimate healer, CHRIST is the ultimate comforter, CHRIST can do all that I can’t in America and in the Nations. I am a mere messenger.
So please,
Please pray along side me… on your knees.
For me, for your family & friends, and for the nations.
