It is now two days before I return to America. Final debrief is in full swing. Days are filled with reminiscing with squad mates, team dinners, ridiculous paint war photo shoots, open mike night, smoothies, bacon pancakes, cigars, man time, passionate worship, free time to just chill, lots of prayer and a final banquet. Ministry is over and we are taking much needed time as a squad to process and celebrate our journey. One huge topic of conversation this week has been future plans. What will the next season hold for everyone? People are all gearing up for what God has next. Not me though. I have no idea what will be coming next for me and that is okay. God knows and that is all that matters.
I made a commitment to God before leaving America last July that I would not set any future plans until I go to Project Search Light later in June. Search Light is a gathering of all of the squads who are returning from the field to worship together, explore future options, discuss re-entry challenges, and just hang out together. I decided before we launched that I wanted to stay as present in this season as possible, so I asked God to let me get back from the field and rest before I make any moves toward planning the next season. He agreed to this, but told me that I was going to have to do my part and stay faithful to this commitment. This has turned out to be harder than I ever dreamed it would be.
As the end of the race has drawn nearer and nearer, many opportunities have presented themselves. Starting around month eight, the different departments at AIM start recruiting Racers for different ministries and jobs when they return from the field. A lot of emails are sent out and the bidding wars begin (kinda like all of the different ministries in churches do when they are looking for volunteers). Also, different ministries around the world have made inquiries. As much as I tried to stay faithful to my commitment, I became more and more tempted to really explore some of these options and start making plans. I even went as far one time as emailing our Squad Mentor and the head of one of the departments and telling them both that I was feeling like God was calling me to break my commitment and sign up for a trip that is leaving in June. God spoke loud and clear that He was not calling me to be a man who breaks commitments and reigned me back in and I had to write a couple of very humbling emails retracting my former statements. I now have a stronger dedication to that commitment, but it was a close call. It is still a struggle though. I ask that for the first few weeks I am home, please don’t ask me what is next. I honestly don’t know the answer to that question and I am honestly going to need to stay faithful to the rest portion of that commitment. I’m pretty tired right now and a short season of rest is just what the Father ordered.
God has revealed to me a little about what is next. While I don’t know exactly what it is, I do know what He has put on my heart this year. I know that He has grown me into a leader and not just a follower. I know that my heart breaks for the broken. I know that He has given me a strong desire to be a man after His heart and to lead other men in that direction. I know that He has called me to step outside of my comfort zone. I know that He has called me to make disciples. I don’t know if He is calling me to leadership/discipleship school, or to lead another trip in the near future, or both. I do know that He has not put the desire on my heart to go back to the nine to five career in this next season. Whatever it is that I do will most likely be ministry. It will involve me trusting Him with the finances again and stepping back into support raising. When I was preparing for this journey, I had to take a huge leap of faith and trust Him to make the money come through. I was freshly healed from my addiction and literally had no resources on my own to get $16,000. He spoke to all of you who supported me and miraculously I had all of the money before the trip even started. Words cannot express how thankful I am to Him and to each of you for your obedience. Though I’m not sure what is next, I would like to ask again for you to pray about supporting me financially and prayerfully and partnering with me in whatever adventure He has next.
Project Search Light is coming in June. I am incredibly excited to see what He has next. Stay tuned. I will write a blog and let all of you know what He has in store and how you can come alongside me and be a part of it. Please pray for me as I re-enter America in a few days and spend the next few weeks in rest and prayer. Again, thank you all for your support and prayer. Thank you for taking the time to follow my blog while I have been on this journey. I am humbled by your comments and all of the other ways you have shown me love. I pray that God blesses each of your lives abundantly. Love y’all!!!
