Sometimes life takes unexpected turns. Sometimes we make plans and they don’t tun out like we thought they would. Sometimes we react poorly when things don’t go our way. Sometimes God has other plans. Sometimes we just have to laugh, say yes, and move forward.
A few month back I got really excited. I was graduating from G42 and for the first time in a very long time, I thought I had my life actually planned out for at least the next few years. I was moving back to Spain. I had found a home and I was ready to stop moving and settle for a season. My dreams and gifts were colliding in what seemed to be the perfect storm of what I thought my life should look like. We were going to open a hostel, that would also be a Missions base for Adventures in Missions, and I was going to be the Chef for the hostel’s cafe. World Race squads would be coming through the base to be sent out to do ministry. The location is perfect to mobilize missionaries in Europe, Northern Africa, and the Middle East. We would use the hostel target the backpacker market and have an opportunity to pour into a group of people who are completely overlooked by the church. It was a beautiful plan and hopefully one day it will come to fruition.
It wasn’t in God’s plan for right now though. Due to finances, last month the decision was made to postpone the project for at least a couple of years. I was pretty bummed. I thought for sure this was the thing God had next for me. I was wrong. So, what the heck was I going to do? Maybe I got a little angry with God because things weren’t going like I wanted them to. Sometimes I’m a brat like that.
The day after Gary Black, the man who was heading up the hostel project and a mentor/friend of mine, told me that we weren’t going to be opening the hostel anytime soon, he came to me and suggested that I go squad lead again. They had five World Race squads launching in early August and were very short on leaders for those squads. When I say Gary suggested that I squad lead, I mean he nonchalantly walked past me in the parking lot at Adventures in Missions and said “I need to to squad lead next month.” Gary is the type of guy who likes to just drop bombs on you and walk away to let you process your way through the carnage. My initial reaction was less than gracious. I said a few words that probably shouldn’t be uttered in the driveway at a missions organization and declared that I wouldn’t be squad leading anytime soon. It had been less than 24 hours since I found out that my plan to move to Spain wasn’t happening. I had been dreaming of a season of roots and stability. In my head, there was no way that God could possibly be calling my out of those things I wanted and back into a life of constantly moving. I already stated that sometimes I’m a brat, and that was what played out that day.
For the last few weeks I have been trying to build my own kingdom. I have volunteered as a trainer at two Word Race training camps and while I’ve been there, I have been making plans to move up to Gainesville to live close to my friends and start working a paying job. I haven’t had a steady income in a few years and support raising can be a tiring and somewhat scary process. My desire was to “just be” for a little while. I wanted to comfortably live in community for a while and maybe even start to build that family God has been promising. I’m not getting any younger after all and it’s difficult to start and built a relationship while traveling and leading a bunch of people who have committed to not being in romantic relationships.
I wanted a normal life, but during this time offers to squad lead kept coming. At fist I was pretty positive that it wasn’t what I wanted, so it couldn’t possibly be what God wanted. Right? Being at these training camps and spending time with amazing future racers began to remind me of my passion for discipleship. Telling stories of my past adventures reminded me of how much I love to travel and do ministry. My heart began to soften to the idea of going back out. Instead of telling God what I was going to do next, I began to say to the Lord “Your will be done.”
Last week, during a training camp, my friend Ashley came to me and said that one of her squad leaders for her squad launching in August had dropped off. She was searching for someone to take on the job. She asked me if I would pray about leading for her, but told me to only accept if I got a clear “yes” from the Lord. Just that morning I had been offered a job in Gainesville and a house to live in with some friends. I had told the guys who were getting the house that I would let them know the next day if I would be moving in with them. I told Ashley that I would pray and give her an answer about squad leading by the next day. I prayed a quick “Your will be done” prayer and went on with my day. Things were falling into place for moving to Gainesville, so it was going to take something pretty clear to change that plan.
The next day, I went to Ashley and turned her down. I told her that I hadn’t gotten a clear “yes”, so I was going to take the spot at the house and “just be” for a little while. She thanked me for praying about it and I went to text my friends and tell them I was going to move in. The problem was that when I pulled my phone out to write the text, I literally couldn’t move my hand to type. The Lord started saying things like “Gainesville isn’t going anywhere”, “you actually love squad leading”, “you have stuff to give away that this squad needs”, “this squad has stuff to give you”, “you will grow if you go”, and “do you trust me?”. Crap! That was a pretty clear “yes” for me. The Lord didn’t tell me I had to go, but he actually showed me that I wanted to go. He literally changed my “want to.” He obviously knows me well. I repented of being a brat, went and found Ashley, and let her know that I was in.
So, very long story short, I’m going back out on the World Race for a third time. On August 7, I will be launching with Y Squad. I haven’t met them yet. We will be starting in South America in Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru. Then Teagan (my coleader) and I will go to Indonesia and the Philippines with them before we head home and they continue on. I am super excited to see all that God does in this next 11 months in this squad. I am honored that he has asked me to be a part of their story.
I will be needing to raise $6,500 for this trip. As I mentioned before support raising can be both difficult and scary, but I am trusting that the Lord is calling me to this so he has the finances figured out. I am asking that you would pray about supporting me on this new journey. There is a link at the top of this blog that will lead you to my World Race support account. I would also ask that you would pray for me and Y Squad. This all happened fast and I have a lot to do before leaving. I know that the Squad all have financial deadlines to meet and a lot to get done before heading out too. Pray for peace and against anxiety. Pray for boldness and against fear. Pray for joy and against sadness. Pray for sound minds and against confusion. Pray for provision and against any poverty mentality. This squad is going to do great things. The kingdom will be revealed wherever we go. Freedom will come to those in bondage. Acceptance will come to those who feel rejected. Comfort will come to those who morn. Healing will come to those who suffer. We will show the world that they are born to be loved. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Love Y’all!
