Life’s different now. I can’t stay too long remembering routines of life before the race. They seem make believe.
I do not get to eat what I want. I eat what is. I never feel clean. I scrub away layers of sweat and dirt. I re expose my skin to be covered up what seems like instantaneously. “Clean” clothes conjure up displeasing odors all too quickly.
Bathrooms aren’t. No. They’re toilets. And they haven’t the smell of air fresheners and crisp linen. They smell exactly up to their name.
We go when we’re told and where we’re told.
I’ve adopted the habit of getting dressed for the day as soon as I open my eyes because you only know that you never know what’s coming.
In our respected communities we talk about discerning spirits, answered prayers, and conversations we have with God. We cling to 2 Corinthians 5:13-14- “So if we were crazy, it was for God. If we are sane, it is for you. Clearly, Christ’s love guides us. We are convinced of the fact that one man has died for all people.”
I’m appreciative for each and every time I’ve been referred to as “crazy”.
Thank the Lord.
I will continue choosing this uncomfortable and smelly lack-of-routine life knowing it comes with freedom to be “crazy”.
I get far greater soul satisfying joy indulging in scripture and actually believing what it says than having downy fresh tshirts.
How could it be possible that I’m happier now ? With less and more ? I’ve built up a life on all the routine things- eating well, being clean, experiencing luxurious nonessentials.
And yet, I’m happy here. I feel more here. It’s my spirit talking. Definitely not my body that’s for sure. But knowing what I know, this body isn’t the end all be all of Mya. This body is borrowed dust. The Kingdom citizen soul inside uses the body to move and get to places and people. That’s all. I’ve lived the start of a life for the body and not the soul. I don’t know that it takes forsaking one to establish the other but I don’t mind it. Not truly. Not really. I’m grateful to have less and more.
