This morning, December 29th, the Lord revealed something beautiful to me, something I want to share with you all. Something that I believe is worth sharing to show/ reiterate the character of the Father and His infinite faithfulness and omniscience.
About 5 1/2 months ago, on July 12th of this year, I was sitting outside on a wall processing with the Lord, and attempting to tap into my creative genes. We had just finished learning about the different ways to connect to the Lord and had been sent out to paint or draw with Him. But more importantly, that whole week, we were diving DEEP into intimacy with the Father and walking in forgiveness. A big realization I had at training camp was that because of my story and the things I had walked through, I was terrified of intimacy. Also, I knew how to forgive others but I struggled to forgive myself.
As I went out to be creative with the Lord, He told me to get a green, yellow, and brown colored pencil. I had no idea why and quite frankly, after coloring what the Lord very specifically gave me an image of, I still had no idea what it was, or why. Here is a picture of what I created.
The only thing I really heard was just, “Wait, wait and trust me.”
So, I did. I did and I forgot all about it.
Then today, December 29th, the Lord woke me up this morning, earlier than my alarm, so that I could spend extra time with Him. As I began to worship I had the desire to draw. I pulled out Gabby’s bag of pens and began to contemplate what color I wanted (thanks Gabs for letting me use them). The Lord prompted me to pick yellow, green, and brown… and also orange (colors I would NOT naturally pick or put together). But, regardless I proceeded. Then the Lord showed me our relationship. He began to remind me and take me back to all of the moments of intimacy we have had. From the small beginning moments, to our most intimate ones, all the while I began coloring the page in front of me, almost subconsciously through the Holy Spirit. Then, the word FORGIVEN came into my head, and I proceeded to finish my drawing.
As I did, He began to connect the dots. He reminded me of training camp, and of the picture He called me to draw. Immediately I began flipping back in my journal trying to find that page from training camp. And it was that moment, in that moment, I understood. I now understood why He had me draw what He did at training camp. He was showing me a milestone in the journey He is walking me through. He was showing evidence of a promise that He had made to me, that if I said yes He would mend my fear of intimacy and show me its beauty. And a promise of walking me in a journey of forgiving myself, deepening my dependance on Him, changing me from the inside out. He wanted, wants, and will always want me to know that He is a promise keeper, and that He is so very proud of me. But, He already knew that, but He wanted me to see it. He wanted me to be proud of myself and really who He is, tangibly.
Our God is SO real, SO good, SO faithful, and He cares about the details. He knew that today I needed a reminder of that part of His character. He has continually been my all, journeyed at MY pace, and walked with me step by step. He has changed my life and I want you to have the opportunity to experience Him also in the way that He truly desires to be in your life as well. So, I HAD to share this. I had to, to praise Him, and to give Him the credit He deserves. But also, because He, more than anything, wants you to know that HE is faithful in HIs promises and wants to walk with you, right now, in a real and tangible way.
Thank you all for continuing to share in my journey, my ups, AND my downs. I LOVE LOVE LOVE you all.
Morgan 🙂
