This week I got a call from home. Mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer, early stage 2. Totally treatable. The doctors were optimistic, my parents were optimistic, so I had reason to be optimistic as well. But it was hard. When you choose to give your life away and leave home for a year, one of the toughest parts is leaving your friends and family in God’s hands. And trusting that He will keep them safe and protect them while you are gone. And to get a phone call about my mom having cancer in the first month?? God, what are you doing?
Two days after that phone call, I got hit with a bug. My sinuses were going crazy, I had a 101 degree fever, and was dizzy and lightheaded spending the day at an Indian hospital where communication was a struggle, even with translators. Not to mention I had to miss about 3 days of ministry.
Not one of my better weeks. And yet the Lord still moves. He saved another woman from a demonic attack in church. We prayed for a Hindu woman’s womb to open and bear a child to ultimately give testimony to the authenticity and sovereignty and supremacy of Christ. My teammates split the cost of a sister in a local village’s house payment so the family is officially debt-free. A true miracle and evidence of God in their life.
But personally, can I trust that He is good? Can I trust that the Lord ultimately has my best interests at heart even when I’m in the midst of trials? I have to believe in this. If He’s not good, if this is not really my calling, if God makes mistakes, then there is no point to any of this. If God is not who He says He is, He is not God. The Bible isn’t true. I may as well just go on home.
In this time, I see Him asking, “do you trust me?”
While extending His hand with an olive branch of peace. With my name on it. My only choice is to take it, and cling to it with all that is in me.
PS – Mom actually just had a very smooth surgery yesterday where the tumor was removed, and she probably won’t even need chemotherapy. Please keep her in your prayers! My health has also improved greatly and we are getting ready to head to Nepal.
