I’m writing this as I wait for the time to come for my squad and I to grab our bags and head to the airport!
This isn’t just any travel day. It’s not just any flight to a new continent. This is a flight to the USA!! A place I haven’t laid eyes on in nearly a year, a place that intimidates me and yet is calling my name (more like shouting). It’s been a journey. It’s been a wild ride. And now it’s time to go home.
I honestly never thought this day would come. Sometimes, I felt like it never would. The days were hard and slow, and homesickness was beyond real. You guys already know how I felt, I probably described it in 95% of my blogs.
I’m scared. I’m scared of having an emotional breakdown in the bread aisle because of the abundance of choices. I’m afraid of judging others because of the way that we as westerners take our abundance for granted. I’m afraid of flashbacks of children in Ethiopia who walked for miles to get a chance at finding some clean drinking water, and seeing the floor of a friend’s car littered with half empty water bottles. I’m afraid of feeling misunderstood, lonely, and forgotten. Will I really have a place to call “home” when I’ve called a hundred different places by the same name? When I’ve built community all over the world and my dreams are still filled with dilapidated mud huts and the worship of the persecuted church? What if I fall back into routine and get too comfortable? What if I can’t hear God over the clamor of fast food and Verizon wireless and the culture of the American church that can err on the side of smoke and mirrors, aesthetics and committees, and not the simple Gospel? Will I forget everything? Will I freeze? Will I shut down and become bitter?
There are a lot of unknowns. I don’t know what home is going to be like until I get there.
But I do know that the fear that I feel is not from my Father. I can trust that He will complete the good work that He began in me, and that is what I’m clinging to in this season.
If you are wondering about the best way to love me in this weird transitional time of life, I think I know of a few things.
“How was your trip?” Is an overwhelming question. How do I answer that? My trip was amazing, hard, beautiful, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, exhausting, eye opening, and etc.
More specific questions will make my day! What’s a country you’ve always wanted to go to? Ask me about it and I’d love to tell you everything!
Ask me about miracles!
Ask me about my favorite ministry!
Pick a country and ask what my daily life looked like!
Who were some people who impacted me?
What weird things did I eat??
What’s a moment that I will always remember?
Ask me hard questions; I keep it real and I’m an honest gal and I love sharing about hard things.
Don’t be timid!
If I’m suddenly off the grid and no one can find me, don’t worry. I am about to soak in this alone time and this newfound freedom as much as I can. My phone has been on airplane mode for an entire year and I fully intend to NOT get sucked back into the world of my phone always being in front of my face.
If anyone is interested in having me for a “share time”, my answer is I’d love to!! Just shoot me a message and let me know when/where. I know the Lord has blessed me with a lot to give away and I want to honor that the best that I can within my personal boundaries.
Don’t forget, I’m moving to Virginia and starting seminary in August! Please continue to keep me in your prayers for the next few months.
Friends, family, supporters, prayer warriors; thanks for giving me the world.
USA HERE I COME!!!!
