I was having lunch with a new group of women today and they were full of questions – “What does LDC mean?”, “Is this your full time job?”, “What exactly is your job?” Questions, mind you, that I am very accustomed to answering after a year of traveling and working with college women in my organization. Most of these “typical” questions are followed by the dreaded “What’s next?”
In the past that question filled me with anxiety because I felt unnecessary pressure to have my life figured out, as if that would somehow light the way for the young women I meet through my role as a Leadership Development Consultant.
But then I decided to put my trust in the Lord and His call for me. Through my decision to go on the World Race I have liberated myself from this feeling, and am left with a sense of peace. No longer will that question make me shrivel up inside! Instead I get to share my faith in His timing and in doing so, potentially liberate other women struggling with a similar pressure.
Or so I thought…
As I answered those questions this afternoon I felt that ever familiar grip of anxiety as I gauged their reaction to my “Next” – my World Race journey. After I explained what I get to do (ranging from building churches, putting on VBS at orphanages to ministering to sex trafficking victims) one woman spoke up and said, “So you’ll be pushing Christianity on the people you meet.”
*Cue jaw drop*
As I stumbled over the best way to answer this question, I felt so confused by her statement. I have always been the respectful “you-do-you” Christian, and so being asked if I was going to “push” the Lord’s love and word on anyone seemed so out of character for me. But then again, I am going on a mission trip, aren’t I? I am going to share His love. I am going to read His word. I am going to praise His name.
So why the pause? And furthermore, why on earth did I answer, “No.”!?
As I began to explain myself, I was overcome with confidence in my response…
No. I am not going to force God’s love on anyone. God doesn’t need or want me to force His love. In the months leading up to the World Race and the 11 months that I am sharing His word abroad I am not responsible for converting anyone to Christianity – That, my friends, will be the Holy Spirit.
My role is to shine as the light of the Lord, to let His love pour out from me. In sharing His love; in reading His word; in doing His work; in praising His name I will give others a glimpse into the love that our Father has for them. I will play a part in the conversion of their hearts but it is truly the work of our Lord God that will ignite their own flame for Him. In being a light in this dark world, I (through Christ) will be able to liberate people from fear, pressure, anxiety; feeling unloved, unwanted, unclean. In being a light in this dark world, I pray that I will be able to help illuminate our world and leave it a more beautiful place.
“…You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
