Have you ever been a “what if” thinker? That’s 100% me as the planner but I’ve come to see how my “What ifs” can be consuming and as a result, limiting to the depth of the relationship I seek with the Father.
At launch just a few weeks ago, I received information that sent me down an “what if” spiral. It was test results from the doctor, and although I won’t go into detail, I will tell you that for Friday and Saturday of Launch I was consumed with fear. Immediately, I went into crisis manager mode – Making phone calls, surfing the web and talking to professionals. As my parents and I discussed our options, I was brought back to the reason I have agreed to go on the World Race. Faith.
Don’t get me wrong, educated decisions are important but worrying over the “what ifs” took me away from the many opportunities Launch provided. Instead of cherishing the time I had with my parents, I spent most of our time together fretting about things that are out of my control. When I grounded myself through prayer and the Word, I realized that many of my conversations over those two days were missing one very important person, God.
As I lifted my concerns to my Abba Father I found that my yoke was lifted and peace surrounded the decision to go on the World Race. In accepting that peace I was given another purpose for the Race (in addition to growing in faith). Learning. I have been blessed with Jesus loving, God fearing, Holy Spirit living people surrounding me in community who have so much love and wisdom to share.
One of the many lessons God has planned for me came out of this experience. A teammate of mine approached me with encouragement through the bible story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3)…
In this story these three men of God have their faith challenged. King Nebuchadnezzar threatened them, that if they did not bow down and worship his idol, they would be thrown into the burning furnace! They respond, “Our God is able to save us from the furnace, but even if He doesn’t, we will continue to serve Him.” They were thrown into the furnace for disobedience to their king BUT were saved from the flames by the one true King. Because of their faith, not only did they walk out of the furnace unmarked, but they brought King Nebuchadnezzar to God.
As my teammate and I walked and talked about these men and their act of faith, it hit me. If I truly want to live a life of abandonment, in pursuit of my Lord and His Kingdom, I can’t live in the “what ifs”. Instead, I want to live my life in the “even ifs”. No matter what obstacles stand in my way, I want to look through the lens of “even if”.
Even if I lose my way, I have a merciful and loving Father.
Even if I feel hunger, I have a God who fills my cup with what I need.
Even if I sleep far away from loved ones, comfort and safety, I have a gracious God who looks out for the needs of my heart, soul and body.
I believe that in letting go of the “what ifs”, we open ourselves to endless opportunity and joy. Because “even if” it happens (whatever “it” may be), we are still loved children of God and what a blessing that is!
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“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble” -Psalm 46:1
