*at the very bottom of this blog I have compiled some footage from the night in question. My suggestion is to read first, watch second. Enjoy*
When I signed up to lead a World Race Semesters trip, there were a lot of things that I was trained and prepared for.
I was trained to handle finances, work with hosts, figure out logistics, run team times, conflict management, lead bible studies, and disciple Racers. You know, basically the whole Shebang.
But last night I encountered something that I was completely unprepared for that rocked me to my core.
To set the scene:
It was late, way past my bedtime (aka around 10pm), I was in bed doing a little bit of reading on my kindle. The lights were off and most of the other girls were either asleep or just about there.
Then I hear a little whimper that quickly got louder and more fearful ‘Morgan Morgan MORGAN HELP ME! MORGAN!’
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten out of bed so quickly. I get over to the girl’s bed, not really knowing what to expect, heart racing a little bit. And do you know what I find?
The LARGEST scorpion that I have EVER seen in my life.
Things I was not prepared for:
1. The literal king of all scorpions
I swear I could have dropped dead in that moment.
I run over and turn the lights on and in a matter of seconds everyone is out of their beds screaming (and if we’re being honest I was probably the loudest of them all)
And then, to my horror, I realize that everyone in the room is looking at me to do something.
Things I was not prepared for:
1. King Scorpion
2. Being expected to kill the said scorpion
I don’t think I’ve ever been the person who people have looked to in situations like this to be the one to kill the thing.
But to my surprise, somewhere inside of me a switch flipped and I knew I had to do this for my team.
Things I was not prepared for:
1. King Scorpion
2. Being expected to kill the said scorpion
3. How much these girls already mean to me (I freaking decided to battle the Godzilla of scorpions for a group of people that I’ve only known for two weeks- that’s not normal)
Then as I resolved to be the one to step up and kill it, I realized that I had no idea how to do that. Luckily, WikiHow was able to provide step by step instructions, which include:
Covering up your arms/hands/legs and trying to stab the body do the scorpion with a sharp object. This was the outcome of that advice:
Things I was not prepared for:
1. King Scorpion
2. Being expected to kill the said scorpion
3. How much these girls mean to me
4. My gag reflex
The next half hour involved a lot of screaming, jumping, running away, panicking, and you guess it- gagging.
Apparently, when under extreme stress, my body feels the need to attempt to expel everything in its stomach- weird.
After several attempts to get near the scorpion with my little handy-dandy knife, it decided to relocate itself and the game plan shifted to trying to capture it in a cup. After getting a cup and realizing that it was TOO LARGE TO BE TRAPPED IN A CUP, we found a bowl.
Things I was not prepared for:
1. King Scorpion
2. Being expected to kill the said scorpion
3. How much these girls mean to me
4. My gag reflex
5. Failure
I could not do it, no matter how much I wanted to. Whenever it moved or I got too close to it, I started gagging and panicking. I wanted to step up for my team and be the person that they needed me to be, but I couldn’t and frustration started to well up in me, which is hard to admit.
After watching my pathetic struggle, a girl from the team stepped up, took the bowl from me and was able to trap it (side note: I think there have been few times in my life where my entire body, soul, mind, and spirit have worshiped the Lord in their entirety, this was one of those times).
Sitting back and reflecting on last night, and thinking about why I was so upset at myself, I realize how much I wanted to be the savior. I wanted to be the one to bring safety and security to the team. I want to be invincible for them- but I’m not invincible. And for a second I caught myself slipping into that mindset of ‘I’m not good enough to lead them’.
Sometimes the smallest things can open our eyes to sin in our life. Of course I’m not good enough. I can’t save these girls, not from their mistakes, sins, questions, doubts, or even scorpions.
Only Jesus (or in the case of the scorpion, Halston) can do that. Only God is good enough.
Me leading this trip isn’t about what I bring to the table, or my ability to do this or that, it’s about my willingness to sit at the table and continually point people back to Jesus, who He is, and what He has done for each of us.
The Lord knows that I need a reminder of that every now and then.
To wrap up this story, the physical manifestation of all my worst nightmares, remained trapped under a bowl, under a pot, under a gallon of water, in the middle of the hall, until our host came to get us the next morning, laughed at us, and then killed it in under a minute.
I didn’t know that I would be battling scorpions when I signed up for this trip, I also didn’t know that the Lord would use something like this to remind me of some really important truths, but I did and He has.
What a good God.
Much Love,
Morgan
Additional read:
I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good about sharing the hard things I learn about myself, but not always the good things or the fun things. So here are some other things I’ve learned about myself from my encounter with Scorpion-Godzilla:
1. I have a very real fear of things with more than 4 legs.
2. I was willing to try, even though I was scared and unprepared and excessively gagging, which is realistically all that I can ask of myself.
3. Recently I’ve gotten better about recognizing and stopping myself when my thoughts become super negative and unproductive. (This is a really big deal for me)
4. There is a desire in my heart for the people around me to feel cared for and safe. I value protection.
5. I’m really good at holding back my vomit
Ok that’s really all
Much Love x2,
Morgan
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