You know that scene in Legally Blonde 2 when Elle Woods is speaking before Congress and she says “This is about a matter that should be at the highest importance to every American. My hair.” And all the senators and stuff are just like uhhh what haha.
Okay so that’s what I feel like while writing a blog about how big of a decision it was to cut my hair lol. But bare with me..
I had always wanted to grow my hair out long. It finally reached its lengths in college, and I embraced my long, blonde waves.
I felt so good when people complimented it, it made me feel pretty.
Slowly, however, I began taking selfish pride in my hair. I always wanted it to look it’s best when I was about to meet up with people or go somewhere, so that people would comment on it. I thought my hair was pretty much all I had “going for me”, appearance-wise. It seemed like people started to associate me with my hair, as if it was my trademark look. I liked the attention.
Once it came time to start prepping for the Race, I began having different thoughts. Seeing as how most of our countries would be visited during hot weather, I thought it might be practical and sensible to cut my hair. It would make it easier! I wasn’t going to want to keep up with that much hair while traveling and serving overseas. It’s one thing to buy good quality shampoo and conditioner, detangling spray, nourishing treatments, and finishing oils over here in the States! It’s just not realistic to keep up that regimen in third world countries. And my tangly hair would quickly turn into dreadlocks!
BUT I also began to feel convicted.
Because once I started to consider cutting my hair, I had an overwhelming reaction of “No way! It took me so long to get this hair. I’m not about to give it up.” I feel silly admitting that I wanted other people overseas to see my hair, my squad-mates to come to know me as having long hair. I wanted my cute adventurous pictures to show my long hair blowing in the wind behind me.. the whole nine yards, you know?
I even started joking around that God MIGHT tell me to cut my hair! And I denied it, thinking that was just an illusion in my head. God knows that it’s just hair, right?
I even told my brother, “Yeah, I’ll probably be sitting somewhere and God will say, ‘THOU SHALL CUT THY HAIR.’” And then proceeded to laugh and roll my eyes.
Well I quickly learned that God was actually trying to speak to me..
He knew it had actually become some sort of an idol in my heart. Which might sound silly, I mean it’s just hair!
But it became more than hair when I started to cling to it.
It became a part of my identity.
It became a shield, a way for me to hide behind my insecurities.
It straight up became a source of pride.
So for practical reasons and spiritual ones, I ended the relationship. I opened my hand and told God, “I’m gonna cut my hair for you. I don’t need it.”
The mission is much bigger than my physical appearance. I don’t have anything to prove. And my identity isn’t rooted in how I look.
And oh, what a relief it is to know I won’t have all that on my head to deal with in tropical climates and monsoon weather haha!
And in the end, it grows back, right?
