Hey! I haven’t written a blog in a long time… but I’m not about to catch you up on the last 2.5 months in this post haha! If you need a good recap and feel like you have NO IDEA what I’ve been doing, relax. I have several podcasts that explain things, and I post pictures on Instagram and Facebook all the time 🙂
BUT FOR NOW there’s something else I’d like to talk about that is more relevant for this final month and where I’m at emotionally / mentally.
Is it *bad* to want the “American Dream”?
Should I reject common cultural norms if I am a radical follower of Christ?
What do I do if God is calling me to the States, or even more, a “normal” career? Is that even possible?
At the start of my Race, and even if you go back to the beginning of my blogs, you can see that one of my main goals / questions was to see what my faith and relationship with Christ looks like away from the American context.
Away from American culture, away from consumerism, away from English worship services, etc.
This was huge. And still, with only 15 days left on the trip, my perspective on the topic is evolving.
I’ve learned how to meet with Jesus among rice fields in the Philippines as well as metropolitan cities in Central America. I’ve preached to a congregation of 9 in the mountains, discussed theology with a Buddhist monk, wrangled a bunch of preschoolers for hours wondering what type of real difference in the Kingdom I was making.
But here’s what I’ve gathered: Away from the American context — away from western culture — my faith looks versatile, resilient, and expressive.
Now it’s time to take this growing tree and replant it in American soil.
I’ve heard a lot of talk about what it means to live a radical life, and usually it’s through the lens of international missions; travel, abandonment, trusting the Lord through fundraising and immersing yourself in an unfamiliar place to find your role in the kingdom.
All of this is TRULY beneficial, and I would argue perhaps a necessary experience for some! It’s the season He has designed for many. I know that I personally have loved every moment of this trip and think that God brought me to these places so that I could have specific encounters and learn intentional lessons…
…before I circled around and landed back in the States.
“I think the longer I am away, the more He calls me back.”
This is what I’ve expressed several times on the Race.
This is NOT saying that the longer I am on the Race, or the further we travel, the more I’ve been stepping out of His plan. He wanted me out here for 11 months. It’s saying that He makes it clearer and clearer that once this current, important chapter is over, He’s planting me in the United States.
He’s confirmed it by sustaining my passion and interest in American history and politics despite the physical detachment from the country,
by surrounding me with community who sees these passions and provides encouraging space for me to grow in expressing them,
and by breaking my heart for the things that threaten American existence and divide its people.
ALL OF THAT MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE CLICHE, but when a questionnaire asks you “What are you passionate about?” and you answer “Preserving the Union”, cliche becomes truth, ha!
Of course being away from comfortable American pleasantries for an extended period of time can make many of us on the squad miss things from home, and at times, crave the “American Dream” (despite how often the very idea is demonized). But sometimes I want it — or something similar to it — in a really pure, God-given way.
Stay with me…
When we imagine the more “radical” calling for a follower of Jesus, it’s easy to picture a physically less common lifestyle. The scarier, bolder path a Christian could choose is to sell everything, denounce Western luxuries, and pursue the Lord’s calling in third world countries. (Just an example)
I am starting to think, however, that choosing to press into American culture is the less common, radical idea for Christian lifestyle.
That being an anomaly in secular culture, while maintaining relevance and connection to the outsiders of the Church (ie: those who “don’t belong”) is scarier than praying healing over an elderly woman in Lesotho whose language I don’t speak.
To walk among upper middle class citizens who are climbing the corporate ladder or meeting their friends for Sunday brunch is to walk among a demographic that is marginalized and overlooked by missions movements.
I hope this is making sense, and I want to add: I see A LOT of value in long term, foreign missions. This is just an alternative perspective and, I believe, my own personal calling.
I think that God is calling me to the American Dream, or some version of it. That He wants me to enter that *typical culture* and live as a radical follower of Jesus inside it. I believe there is no shame in me wanting to move to Washington D.C. or Seattle and enter a competitive work environment or a career field that contrasts the Church. To be a patron and consumer of western culture and pursue Christ at the same time, and acknowledge that the two are not exclusive.
In fact, it’s a good calling that the Lord places on certain indivuduals, to reach a specific people and culture. Living and working in the United States does not make you greedy or uncultured by default.
Someone recently expressed something to me that made me feel underrated and misunderstood. After sharing my heart and excitement with them, their comments made me feel like I was naive for finding enjoyment in keeping up with politics and current events.
“Oh yeah, well, you’re young. It would be interesting to see how your perspective changes when you get older. I know I see things differently now at my age.”
This sentiment is not new for me.
A couple years ago someone said, “You like that stuff now, but just wait a while…”
(As if my youth and zeal somehow distracted me from God’s purpose for my life, rather than providing the energy and purity of heart that is necessary to enter a career and culture so toxic and disrespected.)
I was quickly reminded by the Spirit that He’s been building all of this stuff up in me, weaving together many details, for several years.
Oh yeah. Phew.
My point is, I don’t know how soon God will take me back out of the confines of American borders. It could be 5 months or 5 years from now. And I respect foreign missionaries with every fiber in me — I feel honored to have served as one for the last 11 months.
And I don’t know which route He’s taking me specifically within the context of American culture and the pursuit of “preserving the Union”. Could be international relations, refugee resettlement, public service, teaching history, or anything related.
But I feel strongly that it’s going to be a long term, stateside commitment.
American culture, if anything, is full of misconceptions and contradictions — but it’s the breeding ground for movements. We know that just by our past and our restless personality. God’s not done yet, and as believers who call the US home, we shouldn’t be either.
11 months later, I’m excited to see what my growth and deeper relationship with Christ looks like back in the American context.
