My 9 month mission trip has quickly turned into a 7 month one. As of March 15, Adventures in Missions announced that they are pulling all of their missionaries off the field due to the Coronavirus. They took many precautions and tried their best to keep us safe on the field, but with many countries closing borders and other outbreaks occurring, they officially pulled the plug on all squads.
Sooooo, in short: I’m coming home early. I’ll be back in sweet Tennessee on the 20th!
I’m getting lots of questions about how I’m feeling about the decision, so I’ll just share on here, even if it sounds dramatic, cause that’s just how it is in my head right now:
I’m overwhelmed with a lot of different feelings. I’m sad. I’m not ready to go home because my mind was set on 2 more months. I’m feeling a little heartbroken & shocked & confused. I haven’t processed all that I have seen & lived & done within the past 7 months, and don’t think I’m prepared to share about it in the best way. I thought I would have 2 more months to experience & debrief all that the World Race has been to me. But, now I don’t. If you ask me “how was the World Race?” I probably won’t have an answer right now. That’s just such a broad question! That’s like if I said, “tell me about the past 7 months of your life.” Where would we even begin??? Please, start by asking me specific questions. Don’t get me wrong: I WANT to share about the World Race, so bad!! But please be patient with me while I try to put it together into words.
Also, I feel like I know nothing about what’s going on in the United States. I mean one day everything was fine.. and then I spend ONE week in a remote village and when I get on wifi at the end of the week, I hear that more people are dying from the virus and people are going crazy buying out the toilet paper in grocery stores. Well… what am I supposed to think?! Cambodians don’t even USE toilet paper LOL. Anyways, basically, I’m super behind. And won’t be surprised if I have reverse culture shock going home.
Leaving my squad is going to be hard. They’ve become my second family. I’ve basically been having a huge sleepover with 30 people for the past 7 months, and now we have to split up and go back to our different homes across the states. I’m gonna miss them and the weird sayings and inside jokes we say all the time.
Mostly, I’m upset that I don’t get to finish my race. I’m having to shift my mindset and try to understand what God’s plan in all of this is. Spending a lot of time praying. It’s hard when I feel like I had so much purpose on the field but now that’s changing. Here, in Cambodia, I was in a village where I felt God had so more work in store for us and was ready to use us daily to bring more people into the Kingdom. I also just love the Khmer people so incredibly much (and I only knew them for a week!) I’m having to trust that God wants me home during these next 2 months, and not in Cambodia. Having to let go of my own desires and learn to let God use me however.
But I’ve also got some happy thoughts running through my head too! Like the idea of seeing my friends for the first time and getting big ole hugs from them! I’ve missed my people so much and I’m pumped to hang out with them again! Also now I get to go places on my own, alone, because I no longer have to abide by the silly “buddy rule” lol sorry AIM. And I will get to use my specific shampoo and conditioner at home, yayy maybe now my hair will act normal again! And I’ll drive my car! And get to CHOSE what I eat every day and not have to worry if it’ll be yucky. And I’ll have cellphone data 24/7… that means no more searching for random wifi to text people, I can do it ANYTIME again, say whatttt?! And no more time zone differences! And no more sweating every hour of the day (bc that Cambodian heat is no joke). I’m looking forward to having the comforts of my home back. I think I’ll appreciate everything 1000x more now.
So, even though my race was cut short, I still believe I had an incredible experience during the time I was given. And there’s a lot of stories I wanna share, so I’ll probably keep posting blogs once I’m home and have the time to put everything into words! So if there’s something specific you wanna know or want to hear about, ask me questions in the comments on here and I’ll try to answer them in some next blogs!
much love <3 continual prayer over this transition period is always appreciated!!
