I made this post on Facebook the other day and the words are haunting me in my sleep.
“We are told our whole lives that we can be anything we want when we grow up or do anything we want. Somewhere along the way we get told that we can do anything we want as long as it fits in with the norm and will set us up to have a huge 401K.
Just because the path I am on or want to be on does not fit into the normal mold does not mean that it is unreachable. I can achieve the goals I have. I can travel the world and see all that God created. I don’t have to be in one place my whole life.
The world is vast and meant for wondering. So go wonder.”
I have spent much of the past 2 months consumed with the thought of the future. The thought of what job/career I will get when I get home. I know I need to come home, get a good big girl job, pay off debt, and then start thinking about what to do next, but you see my heart desires MORE.
I have come up with a million different ideas for what the next year of my life will look like. Here are a few of those ideas:
1. Come home, get a job at my church in the mission department, save money, move in with my best friend, and start Bible College online.
2. Come home, save money, and go to G42 in Spain in January or April of next year.
3. Come home, save money, go to Bible college in Greece next year.
4. Come home, save money, start a travel blog and travel the world writing about my adventures.
5. Come home and live like a hermit for the rest of my life at my mama’s house.
Notice most of these have to do with travel! At this point though number 5 is looking like my safest option.
The future is so near and I am so lost. I have so many ideas, but my thoughts are so crowded with these ideas that I can’t silence my brain long enough to hear my Father’s voice on the matter. I do not want the cookie cutter American life. I want an extraordinary life. A life filled with wonder and amazement. I want a life filled with abandonment for God. If I have this all the other parts of the life I want will fall into place. A life with Christ is never mundane. It is extravagant!
I know that I should not fear or worry about the future.
“Do not fear little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32
God promises me a good future. A future where I am in His kingdom and in His will where I shall not want. However, for me it is so hard to wait, to sit in silence, and to not over plan. I have a need to know the near future. To have a schedule, to know I will be able to provide, and to make my parent’s proud. So not knowing, going back and forth in my head with ideas and thoughts and dreams is all but driving me mad.
The truth is I want all the things I listed. Well, except being a hermit. I truly desire to do all those things. I just need to know the order in which I should do them. The future I want is so full of adventure, wonderment, and devotion. I know God brought me on this trip to show me the future He has for me in His kingdom. The ideas are all there, but now it is a matter of the when.
So, I am asking for your prayers. Prayers for clarity, prayers for guidance, prayers for open doors. Pray that I leave the plans behind and just walk forward knowing that God will lead me.
Adventures start where plans end.
