What is the last thing you want to do on the day after you made one of the hardest decisions of your life? Ride on 3 different buses? Stand in the hot sun for hours? Sit squished between a wall and a small Nepali man? How about walk down a mud road for 2 and a half hours? Well Saturday (8th) of this month I did all of the above.
After having a super hard conversation the day before and taking the day off of ministry to do so my spirit was crushed. I was full of sorrow and was searching for answers. My team volunteers that night to leave for ministry at 6am the next day. Which means we must get up around 5/5:30 to be ready for our ministry guide to come get us. Well we are on Nepali time of course so he shows up an hour and 20 minutes late. Which for Nepali time is pretty impressive. We ride 3 different buses an hour and a half away and get dropped off by a winding dirt/mud road. This road is surrounded by rice fields and their harvesters, scarce housing, and the backdrop of mountains as far as the eye could see.
So down we go. Down the winding road of mud. Monsoon season for Nepal means that the mostly dirt/gravel/brick roads get very puddley, wet, and muddy. We are all doing pretty well walking in each others footsteps around the puddles. My mind starts to wonder. Why Lord? I have been obedient to what you have asked. I have let go of what is most important to me for You. I have followed your command. Now what? Why would you have me do this? What else do you have for me? Walking through the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen I started to weep. Kenzi who was infront of me turns around and gives me a hug. About 2 seconds later, SPLAT!! Right foot lands in a puddle. 2 more steps forward SPLAT! Left foot in. My rainbows and the cuffs of my pants are covered. I am slipping in my shoes.
As my team looks back (Im the first to step in a puddle) I yell out with tears streaming down my face “This is a lot for me today.” What I was going through on top of stepping in 2 giant mud puddles was a lot to handle.
I was broken. I asked ,”Lord why give me so much on a day when all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and sulk? “
He answered, “When I was walking in the wilderness being tempted time after time by the enemy, I wanted to give up. It was a lot to handle. I was hungry, I was thirty, I wanted rest. But still I pushed on. Why, because when we push forward through the mess we eventually make it to the end. The end of the road is beautiful and opens up to so much more. Yes we come out filthy and beaten down, but we come out stronger.
The Lord showed me on that long, long (I mean long) winding mud road that He often tests His children. He wants to know how far we will go for Him. What will we give up, what will we abandon? What parts of ourselves and our lives will we leave behind to make space Him. Just like He did with Abraham. He was well pleased with Abraham’s dedication to Him. All God wants is for us to love Him, to seek Him, and to bring others to Him. I am learning that growth and beauty can come from the muddy roads He asks us to walk down. Yes the muddy road is long, dirty, and winding, but the end is so beautiful and it ultimate leads us closer to God.
Thank you Lord for that Nepali mud and for the lesson that I learned walking through it. You will always be exalted God!!
