We were plowing down the slick roads in the back of our taxi cab in Viet Nam. I was in the back with Erin, praying that the driver doesn't hit anyone today. I don't remember what the conversation was about, but Erin turned to me and said something that was kind of hard for me to believe. She said, "Morgan, I love how you are always happy!" I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just brushed it off with a funny joke.
As the day went on, God kept bringing that statement to the front of my mind. I started to realize just how much those words meant for me in this season. It took about 12 hours with the Lord for me to really grasp what He was trying to get across to me. My joy is back.
I remember standing in the kitchen with my mother, a few months ago. I'm not sure what started this conversation, but I definitley haven't forgotten it. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Morgan, you're not happy. You haven't been happy in awhile." I responded by looking back at her, with the most convincing face I could muster, and assuring her that I was. Then, I went to my room and cried. I had spent months pretending to my family, my friends, and myself that I was happy. Sure, I had my moments, but for the most part I was fine…
I prayed to God, more times than I can count, to give me my joy back. I was so frustrated that I couldn't just be "okay" already. What I didn't understand, was that I was still placing my joy in the wrong hands. I was letting a man control my joy, instead of finding it in the Lord. No matter what God did for me, it wasn't ever enough.
3 months ago, I started following the Lord on an incredible journey around the world. I have seen Him do amazing things in so many hearts. I've watched Him keep hearts beating and I've witnessed Him pull on people's spiritual hearts. But the most incredible thing I have witnessed Him do, is the work He's done in my heart. In these past 90 days, He has just completely captivated mine.
If you don't have joy, than you are looking for it in the wrong place. I am not saying we should all be "happy, happy, happy" all the time, but we shouldn't lose our joy.
The last few months, I feel like I have been walking through a thick fog. I know the Lord is waiting for me with a bright light at the end of it. The more I walk by that faith, the closer I get to Him. The closer I get to Him, the more my faith grows.
"…For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances." -Philippians 4:11
Joyfully,
Morgan Brooke Willett
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