When I got accepted to the World Race, I started to see God move in ways i'd never experienced before. I knew God was going to strengthen my faith in Him throughout this amazing journey, but I didnt expect it to happen before I left. January was such a powerful, encouraging, uplifting month for me!
AND THEN…
February hit. It has been a month of famine and trials. I had SO MUCH going on, I haven't had time to fundraise for the race. It brought me alot of discouragement and gave satan something to throw in my face. I've been feeling like, "God, You were so faithful in January, where did You go? Time is a ticking and we've got to get on this!"
Well, last week in Bible study, we were studying the book of James. Something was said along the lines of, " We have times of flood, when we feel God just pouring down on us. And we have times of drought, when we don't feel God at all. Just like the rain waters the flowers, God can't continually water us. He has to go under ground for awhile in order for us to be able to sprout up and grow." So, Even though this month has been a test of faith, it's also been an opportunity for growth. Just because things aren't all gum drops & bunnies, doesn't mean that God isn't there! He's using this time to strengthen my walk with Him.
　
I have been so focused on things like:
How am I going to sell my car?
How am I going to raise support?
How am I going to afford shots, gear, & everything else I need?
How am I supposed to get everything in order before I leave?
How am I supposed to find time to form relationships with my squad?
How am I supposed to leave my family & friends?
How am I supposed to be homeless for a year?
How am I supposed to come back to literally NOTHING?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE UP MY LIFE?
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." – Matthew 10:39
How am I supposed to ignore the 2.2 million sexually trafficked women & children in this world?
How am I supposed to ignore the fact that every 15 seconds a child in Africa becomes an AIDS orphan?
How am I supposed to ignore the 852 million people who went hungry today?
How am I supposed to ignore the countries that society has deemed "untouchable"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO IGNORE THAT THESE PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THE LOVE OF THEIR CREATOR?
"..Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons, freely you have received, so freely give."- Matthew 10:8
I am selfish.
I like to be in control.
I like having everything planned out.
　
AND GOD IS WRECKING MY WORLD!
　
So Lord, break the bondage of these fears, doubts, insecurities, and selfish desires! Lead me in the way that You want me to go and don't let go of me. Thank you for Your faithfulness. Thank you for choosing to use me, imperfections and all. I love you!
CAN I GET AN AMEN?!
