As I lay here in my tent, typing up this blog, I have exactly 16 days until I land in my hometown of Austin, Texas. I have been gone for 9 months, and I get to come home in 2 weeks. What I can’t describe through words is the joy and excitement that brings me. What I also can’t describe is the completely overwhelming feeling that brings me.
There comes a point when you renter America that you trade everything and everyone you’ve come to know and love for everything you knew and loved. You trade backpacking all over the world for your car and the place you call home. You trade your tent for your bedroom and your sleeping pad for your bed. You trade your team and squad mates for your lifelong friends and family.
And with friends and family patiently awaiting for your big reutrn, there is one stressful thing that comes along with that. The questions. With the topic of rentry on all of our squad conversations, there is a general concensus that the most stressful part of returning home is all of the questions. And there are many questions that we just do not have an answer for. I will walk you hrough these questions and why they are hard to answer.
1). How was your trip?
The world race was not a trip. This was the past 9 months of my life that challenged me, changed me, and grew me. There were amazing, breath taking moments where I fell in love with culture, people and creation. There were also moments where I cried, shouted, was angry, annoyed, and wanted to go home. It had many highs and many lows. I just can not exlain the past 9 months of my life in one passing by question or 2 minute conversation.
2). Did you have fun?
Yeah, sure. The race is fun and you get to travel to very cool parts of the world and do crazy things that not many people get to do (like swimming with sharks ;)) But the world race is also life. You have to do dishes, laundry, and clean. It isn’t an escape from the real world for a few months beause you are still living your life. It is fun, but it is not always fun.
3). Was it hard?
Very, The world race is not easy or for the faint of heart. There are days that are physically exhausting and experiences that are emotionally trying. Sometimes you sit on a cold floor during worship where they are playing It Is Well (with my soul) and you can’t even sing long because it’s not. Some moments you feel like falling apart or that you just can’t go on. People will make you mad, make you cry, and hurt your feelings. And I’m not even going to get into how much hardship and sickness your body gets put through.
4). What changed you the most?
Hmmm, well that would be easy if here was only ONE thing that changed me. As a racer, you have many moments of impact, change, and comlete revelation. Some moments your heart soars and others it breaks. You come across people and circumstances that challenge and change everything you have ever believed. Yes some experiences have greater impacts than others, but there are still so many experiences over the past 9 months that has changed who I am .
5). Are you excited to be home?
I am so excied to be home after being gone for so long. I have world’s best friends and family that I can not wait to see again. But I am also leaving home behind. I now have 3 new homes all over the world. I have family in different sates and different countries. There are people that I know and love that I will not get to see for a very long time. Austin is my home. But now my home has become my tent and my bible. My home has become the people on my team. My home is wherever the Lord has me.
With all of these questions being asked, know that sometimes there is a certain pressure we feel to prove our change. That if we aren’t different than before the race we have failed. I have had my life and heart changed over these past 9 months but I am still Morgan. I still laugh at the same things and like a lot of the same things. I am still me so don’t have any expectations.
After understanding all of this, know that it is okay to ask quesions. Infact I want you to. I want to share all of my experiences and stories with everyone back home. But detailed questions are better than vague quesions. And if you are expecting short answers, I just can’t give them. It takes time for me to explain all that I have seen and felt, but I still want to share that with people back home. And I am so excited to be back in the great state of Texas. Probably more excited than I care to admit 😉
