*vulnerable post*
“Is Jesus really the reason for the season in my life?”
This is the question I wrestled with this year.
Take away the presents, the lights, the candy canes, the mistletoes, the family and friends, the carols, the food, the decorations, and the traditions. Take away every where you turn celebration is happening. Take away shopping for people and of course the daily Starbucks. The candle light services and countless Christmas parties. Take away the ugly Christmas sweaters and the snow. Take away the Christmas eve outfit and the Christmas day jammies.
Replace all of it with monks surrounding you, statues and temples around each corner, beef and rice, new faces every single day. Not one local has wished you a Merry Christmas as you walked out the door of their business, and nothing is closed. Add 90 degree weather and a cold shower to start off the day.
Its just another day here in Cambodia…physically, not much has changed.
Honestly my mindset was “lets just skip Christmas.”
The less I thought about missing the Christmas season, the less it hurt to be away.
Then that still small voice said, “what about me.”
Those three words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Is Jesus really the reason I celebrate Christmas? Is Jesus really truly the center of all the hype?
In my life the answer is no. If Jesus was the reason of the season in my heart than circumstances would not change the hype I feel Christmas morning.
What a humbling realization.
“So what do I do from here?” I found myself asking this question.
Every part of me wanted to go find a new outfit, go eat some traditional Christmas food, hang lights around the room, give a child a present, watch every Christmas movie possible, or live stream my churches Christmas eve service. I wanted to find some sort of comfort that reminded me of a traditional holiday season.
But even then, I was still missing it.
I felt like the worst daughter ever, like a friend who used someones birthday for their own selfish pleasure. like “Hey lets celebrate your birthday by making it my own party.”
Then I heard that still small voice, “celebrate me.”
“How do I celebrate my friends on their birthdays? I hang out with them, I love them, I remember all they have done for me, I celebrate who they are wether thats on their couch at home or sharing a meal together.” I said to myself.
“Jesus, how do I celebrate you?”
“How do you celebrate me? You celebrate me everyday, not just one day a year. You spend time thinking about who I am and everything I have done for you. You spend time in worship praising my holy name. You live your life to make my life known. You are okay my daughter. My birth is important but more than any type of special celebration I just want to spend time with you. Relax in my presence today. Relax in knowing that I am God. ”
So today, on this very special Christmas day in Kampong Cham, Cambodia, I am going to celebrate my dad. No special clothes, no special food, no special presents to be opened or special songs to be sang. I am going to just celebrate who He is and all He has done for me by relaxing and resting in all His blessings. I am going to celebrate my dad today by spending the day with Him, loving him, cherishing Him, hanging out with Him, and loving on His precious children.
May we all celebrate the miraculous birth of the man whose love so radically changed this world.
Merry Christmas yall!
KP
Ps. shout out to my sister who is my sister. she is my homie and I have a sister, I am not an only child….better kels? <3
