At the beginning of the year I thought that I knew who I was. I thought that I knew exactly how God wanted to use me. One of the greatest challenges of this year has been letting go of the things that I thought God wanted me to do. I thought that leading worship and singing were the only ways that God could use me. I though that things like preaching, speaking, and leading were for other people but defiantly not for me.
As the year has developed I have found that those things are not true at all. God can do anything that He pleases.
For those of you who know me back home, it might come as a surprise to you to find out that I have led worship all of one time on the race. I have sang openly a total of three times on the race in 8 months.
For those of you who do not know me all too well I will tell you that back home in Stockton, Ca my life revolved around music and leading worship. The problem was that while my intentions were good my heart was not. When I began leading worship in 2012 I was experiencing God for the first time with people as I sang, but then something changed. As people responded to that worship I found my identity being wrapped up in this talent instead of God.
In my second month on the race the Lord spoke to me very clearly and he told me to STOP SINGING. I did not know any other way to worship God. I mean, after all it was all I knew how to do. I had poured everything that I was in this one thing. My worship was not true worship, it was a set list of songs that I knew backwards and forwards.
When we would go anywhere to pray and worship God through song I would sit. God told me to just sit and spend time with Him in our place.
So for the last 5 months I have been sitting. Listening…..sitting some more…and listening. I hear God just as much and even more than I did before and it is AWESOME! I have had the last 5 months to use and develop other gifts and talents as well. God has shown me that my words are powerful. The things that I say to people have been more powerful than any words from a song and that is crazy! I never thought that anything I had to say was important.
I want to encourage everyone to turn the music down and to find a place to sit and listen to God. Ask Him to come and sit with you and to speak over you. It is POWERFUL. He wants to spend time with you right now!!
