Time is passing by so quickly. I can not believe that I am watching the leaves fall to the ground and the trees will be bare before I know it. The funny thing is that before the last leaf falls to the ground my bags will be packed and I will be leaving Stockton. My home, the city that has shaped me, the place that I prayed to be removed from for so long. I know that I will be back but there is something that I must do. My heart is crying out for more….so I have to go. I have to see what God is doing in those dark places people talk about so desperately.
A few weeks before training camp the Lord changed my heart and set my eyes on a new route. I will be going to India, Nepal, South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, Latvia, Estonia, Thailand, Burma (Myanamr), Cambodia, and Vietnam.My heart had been crying out for several of these places and I just knew that I had to make a change.There is so much that I don’t know about some of the places that I am going and that makes me fearful at times, but I press on because I know I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be.
I am still in so much shock from the vision that God has given me. The vision to just go. People have been asking me for months if I am nervous, excited, and ready. My answer has always been YES! But today the idea of leaving has become more of a reality and less of a distant idea. I will miss my crazy little news making town, along with my family and friends, but most of all I will miss the predictable life that I have known for 27 years. Isn’t that crazy? The same predictable life that I couldn’t wait to abandon is the same life that I will miss. The sad truth is that is all I have ever known….so I am hoping that I will come home with a new way to live. I want to live on the edge of comfortable verging on terrified. You see when I’m scared that is how I know that God is going to do something beyond my scope of reality. I want to come home with so much more faith and courage…because right now I am lacking….but I have hope. So I will hold on to that. I will cling to that because I know that my Pappa never lies or deceives instead he speaks unbreakable truth.
So I will tell you now that I don’t care what route I am on or where I go. I will go ANYWHERE to serve my King because I know He will never fail me and He will always protect me. He goes before me.
Do not be afraid of terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you….The lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:5/8
