The race changes you. It changes how you think about yourself, how you think about God, and how you choose to live your life. You can choose to live in a way that is not threatening to anyone. Safety. You can choose to live radically and learn how to question things and live life out according to the gospel. I must confess that before coming on the race I got awkward when people would talk about things like healing or prophesy. I choose to just look the other way and let people who wanted to believe in those things believe them and I would just believe they were real but not be a part of them. Then day #1 of the race I sprained my knee and could barely walk on it. Two days later my squad mates prayed over me and my pain was gone. Now, some would say that it was a coincidence or that maybe I just wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I was. I can tell you that the sensation in my leg was real and that the pain before that sensation was even more real.
I have heard of countless stories of people going out to minister on my squad and coming back with stories of Jesus healing and people who are able to see or walk with no pain.
This morning I woke up to my team mate Katie standing over me reminding me that we were going running. I crawled off of my mattress (on the floor because my bed broke…) and threw on my running shoes. We walked up our little hill to get to the gate and chose our path to run on. I was sort of excited to start off our ministry week with a short run. Three paces on the trail and my ankle rolled and my whole body tumbled into the red dirt. Not again! I was so disappointed. I was looking forward to starting off the morning with some time with Jesus in the throws of nature. I guess that is not what he had in mind. Katie put her arm around me and helped me up and helped to balance my steps to the gate. We paused for a moment, she laid her hands on me and prayed healing over my ankle and body. I took a step and it felt like I had taken an instant IB protein dose. I could put all of my weight on my left foot. There was still pain when I moved my foot but I was able to walk without leaning on someone.
Up until today I thought that I understood who Jesus was. I thought I had a pretty good grasp of the gospel. I thought that healing was something that did happen but that I just couldn’t be a part of it. I chose to separate myself from Jesus and his power to do incredible things. My decision to look the other way and to pick and choose what I believed about the power of Jesus was hindering my understanding of who Jesus really is and the power that he really has.
This is the second time that I have been healed in the last 4 months. Which led me to ask so many more questions. Why is a doctor visit or taking meds often our first resort and Jesus becomes our last resort? The experiences I am having on my race are shaking my faith. I am asking question after question. My last question which I have no answer is, How do we actually live out the gospel of Christ? What is that supposed to even look like?? Because I am pretty sure that I haven’t been doing that.
“But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
Acts 1:8
