Fill-A-Belly has not always been what
it is today. We have had some pretty horrible nights, but nothing
compares to a week just less then two years ago. It was Molly,
Brittany and I. All our friends who had been helping us take sack
dinners to the homeless were gone. We had texted a lot of guys
asking if they could help out but no one was available.
When we got to the park we were meeting
in it was already dark, for some reason the food had taken a long
time to cook that night. Nothing was going well. Our homeless
friends were there waiting for us and it was not a good sight. They
were crazy drunk. Not just the normal slightly inebriated state they
lived their lives in, but falling down, soiled pants, sobbing with
snot pouring down their faces, drunk.
We sat down at the picnic tables, put
out the food, and started trying to have a conversation. Henry and
George were there (names have been changed.) It wasn’t long until
tears were pouring down their faces. “I have no hope.� Henry
kept repeating over and over again. We didn’t know what to do, and
felt beat to a pulp. The last few weeks at Fill-A-Belly had been
super tough. We didn’t have the cash to keep buying food, a lot of
our regular volunteers had been deployed. It felt like a natural end
to the ministry.
We offered to pray, it was our last
resort.
We had run out of our own resources.
“Henry, what do you want prayer for?�
Molly asked.
“I want hope, I want to quit
drinking, but I have no hope.�
Our prayers for Henry were not beautiful
or well constructed. The guys interrupted many of the prayers crying
over the hopeless state of their lives. After we wrapped up nothing
visible had shifted. It was dark and cold and we were ready to be
home curled up under a blanket watching Biggest Loser. Goodbyes were
said and to be honest I was thankful to get in my car and drive away.
That night, we earnestly discussed
quitting Fill-A-Belly. Molly, Brit and I sat around feeling residual
melancholy, almost like the guys had transferred it to us. We didn’t
have enough volunteers, we didn’t have any men helping out, we didn’t
have money for food and more then anything else we weren’t getting
anywhere with the guys. What was the point anyway?
To be continued….
