Lord willing, I’m leaving for Swaziland in two weeks with a team of 10 young adults. I still can’t believe that it’s real and that the countdown is here. It’s been a rough road for me, especially since a lot of our team funding has been slow to come in. I hate trusting God (that might be horrible to admit, but it’s true.) I prefer being in control, even though that’s just an illusion anyway. Today I was talking about Swazi with Brian and Willie, the guys I work with, and I was trying to say, “God has it under control.” Instead I said, “I’ve got God under control.” I think it was a Freudian slip. The guys laughed with me about it, then called me out on my lack of trust. I needed to be called out!
Willie said something about how God was doing everything His way, then I quipped back…”Yeah, cause if I were in control I would have done it differently.” Once those thoughts slipped out of my mouth I realized how sad they were, and how much I needed to let go! Tonight has been a night of surrender, of realizing that I am not in control and that’s truly a good thing. For some reason that surrender has made me super excited about the trip. Up until now that excitement has been clouded in worry. It was so fun to watch the video below and truly let my heart grasp the fact a dream God gave me almost two years is about to be realized!
