Before I get on with the story, dates for the Swaziland trip this summer are set for July 27
– August 12. To sign up for that trip or
get more information about upcoming events check out www.mojourneys.com.   
 
I’ve had this nagging conviction for the last few
weeks.  I knew that God was asking me to do
something, and instead of being obedient I’ve been recklessly avoiding.  Most of the time I can submerge the incessant
conviction with work and busyness.  Then,
at the most inopportune times, right as I’m trying to fall asleep, or when I’m
driving and can’t really do anything, it pops back into the forefront of my
thoughts. 
 
The last few mornings I’ve tried to read the Bible but kept getting stuck on this verse, “you were running superbly!  Who cut in on you, deflecting you from the
true course of obedience?  This detour
doesn’t come from the One who called you into the race in the first place.  And please don’t toss this off as insignificant.”
 (Galatians 5:7-8 Message) 
 
The first few times I read those words my thoughts were,
“Wow, what a tragedy when people who are running after God get distracted from
that pursuit.”  I also though about how
it’s not always a “who” that cuts in on us, sometimes it’s a “what.”  The verse could read, “who or what cut in on
you, deflecting you from obedience?”
 
Then I realized that those words weren’t for someone else,
they were for me.
  God had asked me to be
honest about a struggle in this blog and I didn’t want to so I started doing
everything possible to avoid it. 
 
Truth is I don’t want to be obedient and write this.  I don’t want my most private issues to be out
for all to know, scrutinize, and judge.  Popular
wisdom says to hide the things that others could use to hurt you.  My stomach hurts just typing this.  
 
This all started just over a month ago.  I was asked to preach at Christ Presbyterian
Church, where I worked before doing The World Race. 
The verses were Mark 6:45-56 – the story where Jesus sends his disciples
out into the storm, then eventually comes to them walking on the water.  As I read through the passage the words,
“straining at the oars” stood out to me, as if they were written in sparkly,
metallic ink.  I couldn’t escape the fact
that Jesus sent the disciples into the storm, and that eventually he saw them
straining at the oars and went out to be with them. 
 
Just like the disciples fought through the storm and kept
“straining at the oars” there are hard things in my life that I’m called to
keep on struggling against.  The
temptation is to give up and let the storm push me back to where I started, but
I need to keep straining!
 
When I preach there are certain stories I love using, they
are powerful and personal but more importantly they are pre-conquered.  Sharing about how hard Fill-A-Belly was in
the beginning, and how we almost quit, is easy, because today God is doing some
pretty sweet things through that outreach. 
It’s easy to teach about weathering past storms, but sharing present struggles is a different story.
 
As I was praying and preparing I felt God navigating me in
an unfamiliar direction.  I was called to
use my struggle with food and loosing weight as an example.  It was the last thing in the world I wanted
to do!  If someone gave me the choice of having
dental work or sharing about that struggle I would take the dental work.  That’s really saying something because I suck
at the dentist, last time they had to give me a little-blue-happy-pill and
stuffed animal just to make it through the appointment. 
(Me at the dentist last year – I’m not exaggerating!)
 
This struggle is by far my most vulnerable. 
 
As Sunday crept
closer I was a wreck.  I spent hours
curled up in the fetal position with tears streaming down my cheeks.  It was not a pretty site!
 
To be continued… 
If you would like to hear the sermon check it out on my new Mo Journeys Facebook Page – and while you are there if you want to “like” the page that would be awesome!