Can we all be honest and just say there are many things in this world that make us angry?
We’ just arrived in Siem Reap, Cambodia and I wasn’t surprised that we were going over sex trafficking. But the moment some of the girls on my squad began speaking about it.. I felt sick and my heart, my core was rattling and I pleaded, “God can I please leave the room?!” I stayed.. I wasn’t ignorant to the subject by any means, nor was it a surprise to me in anyway. When we were finished I left the room hearing my squad leader’s: Seth’s voice in my head saying, “what makes you angry about this world!? Take that anger and turn it into passion!”
So right after that session I went up to Seth and asked, “how the heck do I turn my anger into passion?” Honestly I feel a lot and I’ve been called to intercede but what always ends up happening is I usually end up having to tap out and I am driven helpless because I felt it too deeply and was forgetting Christ in all of it.
The next day we went to Angkor Wat and one of my very wise squad mates Caroline told me about a vision she had as we were walking through the temple. She said, “I saw a monk walking through the temple meditating and God was walking with him and telling him I know you built this temple for other gods but you can’t keep me out”.
Right after Caroline shared that I realized, “God, thank you that I have been given an awareness about the darkness but I don’t want to know about what Satan’s doing I want to know what you’re doing.” I had been so convicted of wasting so much time and energy trying to figure out the enemy’s plan so that I could defeat him. But Jesus has already done this so I don’t need to figure it out, I need to look to God and ask Him how He wants to release His victory and joy in the atmosphere. Another big thing God showed me about being an intercessor is that we were not meant to carry other people’s burdens, we can’t or we will be crushed too. We were meant to stand in the gap for those who are struggling and lift there load and hand it right to Jesus. There is so much more joy and victory now in my prayer life and in the environment we walk into.
Everyday I’m still figuring out how to turn the hurt for women and children stuck in slavery into passion and into making a difference. I refuse to pretend like it’s a joyful topic but what they need is not someone else to stand and suffer with them but someone to bring some joy into their lives. It still hurts a lot of the time but there is great hope alive within me that I will never give up on sharing!
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. Isaiah61:1-3
