We have all had our valleys and peaks this month. I’m realizing a lot in my last week of Panama, that I haven’t been the woman I’ve been called to be.
Leading up to next week, where we are going to be experiencing big changes (like going to Africa and a possible team change), I suddenly feel convicted that I have taken so much for granted in these last four months.
I wish I would have done things differently. I wish I could have been more for my team. I wish I wasn’t on my phone so much and that I was more present. I wish I would’ve stopped and asked God what He wanted to do in each moment.
I know I can’t change anything I have done in the last four months and yes there is so much grace for me in my shortcomings to embrace the individual moments that God placed in front of me. All I can do is walk forward and look to God to be me.
Just because I’m on The World Race doesn’t mean I’m any more of a Saint or better than anyone back home, because we all have the challenges that are in front of us. Everyday is a new challenge to wake up and renew my mind in Christ and say yes to abandon my comfort instead of doing what’s easy, what’s more enjoyable, and what’s selfish. No matter what, this is something that’s going to be just as hard for me and you.
In the last four months, one of the things God has been teaching me is how to remain the woman He has called me to be no matter what team I’m on, or country I’m in, or ministry that I have been assigned.
I have definitely seen how I’ve let my circumstances and the people around me change who I am. So I asked God: How can I truly meet people where they’re at, but still remain myself? The answer I realized is that it takes one to really know who they are and know who God is and to be confident in God’s love for them.
I can tell you that in the moments when I felt the most lost about who I am, were the moments I wasn’t focused on the truth about who God is and who I am in Him. So I wish I had some extraordinary stories to share with you, but I’m just like everyone else trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus so I can run this race with endurance.
After I had some good and long prayer time admitting my faults, I asked for the encouragement to be fully present in Christ and to see Him move.
God brought us to beautiful mountains and showed me that I just need to keep my eyes on Him and live a life of embracing instead of striving, to embrace The Lord’s strength and love and not try and strive to make something happen on my own.
So I’m writing this blog to share that I’m learning how to live a life of saying yes to Him daily and no to the world and my own needs and desires. I think the things we have to relearn are the moments that humble our hearts and teach us again what’s pure and important.
So maybe we can all ask ourselves: what does it look like to not strive but to embrace God’s goodness and what He has for us?
I know who God has called me to be feels impossible most of the time, but that’s what’s so beautiful because it’s not my legacy to be lived out, it is his. It will never be lived out on my own strength, so all God is ever asking me is to draw closer to Him.
I recognize that some of you reading this don’t know or believe in God. So I understand that many of my blogs might be hard for you to understand or agree with.
I was reminded today of a devotional in Ezekiel 5&6 that we had a month ago. What I walk away learning from these passages is this: If I really believe – Which I do!! – that My God is a God that saves and that through Jesus Christ we can have eternal life and not have to face death spiritually nor be separated from the One that created life, then by me sharing with you what He has done is only out of love for you.
I believe this is the truth, and because of that, my desire if for you to hear it and understand and be able to experience that freedom and life now.
I think that it would be crazy to reject such a love and mistake it for me trying to force you to share in my beliefs.
So know this, that Jesus Christ will be the one that will love you no matter how far or how much you fight him. Maybe today you think you’re not ready, but you don’t need to get ready for him because He wants you just as you are. You don’t need to know everything there is to know about Him or have your life in order to choose to embrace him, He is already embracing you.
I could never just watch someone stand in front of a train and not at least try my best to prevent them from death. Especially if God the Father has shown me reason for life! There is that much of an urgency because we really don’t know what will come tomorrow or what’s right in front of us.
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.
But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” Luke 15:20-24
I love you and hope you will join me stepping forward into embracing God’s love and strength instead of our own.
Your Racer- Monique
