Have you ever been asked to stop doing something not because you weren’t doing a good job or because someone better came along or because they were “letting people go”? But been asked to stop doing something because it is evident that burn-out or bitterness towards the job could potentially be right around the corner? Because the people in charge of you see that you might need rest? Have you ever been cared for in that way?
I have. Just this past week my friend Haley and I were asked to step down from being Logistics Coordinators for our squad; not because we weren’t doing a good job getting our squad from country to country or because we were beginning to hate doing logistics work in the midst of our race but because our leadership saw it fit that we take the next 4 months of this race to simply rest. To open up space in our days, minds, and hearts to do something other than think about logistics; talk about love! They care about us enough to ensure our hearts are getting the rest and satisfaction we need from the Lord and nothing else.
We’ve had our fair share of obstacles along the way but Haley and I were BUMMED (capital letters intended) when we were told that we were no longer Logistics Coordinators for the squad. We haven’t known anything else or even know what logistics looked like without an obstacle to overcome every month, so we were both surprised and literally shocked to find out that we were being removed from the role we have come to love.
For those who don’t know, Logistics Coordinators have the job of finding transportation for the squad, as well as debrief locations. Those are the two big things but amongst these two tasks there are other little ones such as receipts, ensuring everyone who needs call time for their phones gets one when we enter a country, being conscientious of a budget, etc. So it’s not hard to see that all of this can keep one pretty occupied. And all of this is done along with ministry that we are doing in each country for the month. Needless to say, this position is an incredible way to serve the squad. And our goal each month has been to do it in such a way that every other squad member could mentally check-out and blindly follow our lead every travel day, entering into the next month refreshed and ready to serve.
Looking back, I can see where this may have prevented Haley and I from truly resting for the first 7 months of the Race. But when you’re raised in a culture where busier is better, you don’t really notice when busy becomes too busy: when busyness begins to take over your spirit and the Lord stops. I can look back and see that this could have been where I was heading. Continuing on this path, I would’ve looked back at month 11 and seen spaces filled with ministry and logistics instead of sweet time with the One I actually came on the Race to see.
Although it has brought me to tears to lose the opportunity to serve the squad in this way, I am thankful for the time I had in logistics. The Lord used logistics to show me His faithfulness. To show me that even when we need to leave in 2 hours to go to a different country and have no plan, He will provide; that when you lose a debrief location a week before debrief, He will provide; that when people at the border ask you questions in different languages, He will provide. I can go through story after story of God’s faithfulness and now have more trust in Who He is as our Provider because of logistics. What I was reading about God’s faithfulness in the Bible, I was also seeing everyday with my own eyes! And I think that is what makes it the hardest to be asked to step down: I saw the Lord in it, in every single situation. But learning about the Lord’s faithfulness also gives me hope that He will still continue to show Himself to me.
When asking the Lord: “Why are you asking us to do this? You know we love it?”
He said: “I am about to teach you about a new side of Me that you can’t see without rest.”
I am excited to see what the Lord means by that; what it looks like to truly practice taking a Sabbath. To look for the Lord when it may not be so obvious. To look for the Lord in the everyday. I know we are on the World Race and you may be thinking “can’t you see God everyday in your ministry?” The answer should be yes, but honestly it’s no. Believe or not, after 7 months, ministry becomes the norm. Some days feel routine while others something exciting happens. But with logistics, we never knew what was going to happen! It was easy to pick out God. So I am just going to say it again: I am excited to see the Lord in the everyday!
There is so much the Lord is already teaching me about “being nothing” in context to roles on our squad. The Lord is showing me what it is like to spend time with Him without fighting thoughts of a “to do” list, of how to put my hope and security in Him and not in my performance, and that people genuinely love and care about me as a person and are not just after information that my position holds (I didn’t know this was a concern of mine until after being asked to step down – the people around have loved me very well the past 7 months!).
I think this translates back home in the sense of having a job to go to. Because when it all boils down to it ministry is our job and our job is not our vocation. Right now my “vocation” is missionary but my job is ministry. Your vocation might be “teacher” but your job is ministry. Your vocation might be “IT Analyst” but you job is ministry. Your vocation may be “__________” but your job is ministry. And it really took being asked to step away from what I thought was my job to fully understand that. But we will never see our job as ministry if we don’t trust the Lord and we can’t trust the Lord if we don’t spend time with Him. And I think that if people are seeing their vocation as their job they will be constantly searching, looking for more. Because our vocation was never meant to fulfill us.
The Lord has been showing me that He has protected me from finding fulfillment in my time as logistics because Haley and I took the time to invite Him into our own lives personally and into logistics with a Bible study and prayer before diving into research, emails, and phone calls. I truly believe that we put our time towards what we care about most and unlike anything else in this world, when we take the time to show the Lord we care about Him most, He gives us the time back. I have seen time come back to me through provision.
What do you give your time to?
Would you say that what you give your time to is most important to you?
Spend time with the Lord by reading His word and through prayer. And discover what it means to stop searching and find peace in life. Find out what it means to rest in Him even if your circumstances are not what you would choose them to be.
“The Lord is my shepherd,
I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
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Psalm? ?23
