incapable.

“I am thankful..

that I’m incapable..

of doing any good on my
own..”

-Caedmon’s Call

 

Several days ago, I was
walking back home to our mud hut in the mountains of Uganda with Caley. We were
talking, in the middle of a conversation, as children ran up to us and started
saying our names and wanting to hold our hands. I’ll be honest- I didn’t want
to hold anyones hand. I wanted to keep walking, talking to Caley. Don’t get me
wrong, the kids here are cute, but when you are always being started at,
followed around, touched, pulled on, and yelled at, it gets somewhat tiring. So
we kept walking, and they kept following- saying our names and trying to hold
our hands. They were persistent to say the least. One little boy, with an
obvious runny nose and face caked with dirt, was just content wanting to hold
my hand, walking right next to me. 
It was in that moment that I realized I could be selfish and act like I
didn’t realize he wanted to hold my hand, or I could surrender and put my hand
down, so that he could just touch my fingers and hold my hand- that’s all he
wanted to do. Who am I to decide that I don’t want to hold the hand of one of
God’s precious children? One of his children who obviously needs love and who
obviously needs affection? I could put a smile on his face and all it would
take is a simple act of kindness, putting my comforts and selfish desires aside, to hold the hand
of a little boy who wanted to show me his love and that he cared enough about
me to chase after and pursue me..just like our Heavenly Father does each and
every day to draw us back to Himself. It’s funny how God shows his love for us
in such tangible ways.

 

I realized some things that
day.

 

I am humbled that the Lord has provided the money for this trip-
I’m incapable.

I am humbled at the many lives that we have encountered- I’m incapable.

I am humbled at the divine appointments the Lord has put in our
path- I’m incapable.

I am humbled that I got to become friends with a prostitute- I’m incapable.

I am humbled that I have gotten to hold the hand of an orphan- I’m
incapable.

 

The truth is, I am incapable
of doing any of these things on my own- in my own strength, in my own will.
It’s not always fun, it’s not always easy, and it’s not always comfortable.
However the truth is that the Lord doesn’t call us to be comfortable. Like the song above says, “I am thankful, that I’m
incapable of doing any good on my own”. However, I am capable of doing these things through Him and through the
strength that He provides.

 

“He must become greater;

I must become less.”