Goodbyes are painful. They make you think… think of how much you treasure that person; this gift you have been given. They make you think of what you take for granted. They make you see how much you are blessed.
I once heard that if you wave goodbye long enough, that eventually it turns into hello. So positively, goodbyes are just preludes to hello…. Ok.
I've had a lot of preludes this month leaving for the World Race, and I haven't realized how hard it was saying goodbye for the (almost) year until after I was here…in the Dominican Republic….away from my family, away from my familiar…away from home. And it hit hard. Insert thought, "How am I going to do this, this feeling for 11 months?" Dear Lord, I didn't realize how blessed I am.
I absolutely love my earthly home that God has provided for me. My home that is the people and the places that create my familiar world are so filled with love and comfort and peace. But I know that none of that can be given to me by the world; my familiar is a product of the Lord; blessings from my Jesus.
My family got it, my friends got it. Over the last 6 weeks, as we visited and shared and worked toward sending me on this journey, they would have emotional moments filled with sweet words and tears of love, and I would hug them agreeing that it is going to be hard but that it is going to be good and worth it. But for me, no break downs, and definitely no amount of tears that would normally be shed by me, the easy crier. I've been so busy preparing and in such a state of forward motion, that I think I was "doing" way more than "feeling".
God knows me better than I know myself, so constant forward motion may have been needed to continue to propel me forward into this journey.
So now… I sit here in the DR, feeling that weight and clinging to the truth that God has called me to leave my familiar for a season. And though at times I may not understand why, I know that it has purpose and I rest in trusting my God's plan is perfect.
It's an interesting place to be, talking to my Lord with such a heavy heart and a grateful spirit.
Then God moves… and reminds me why I said yes to this mission.
Three nights ago, the Spirit fell on my (AWESOME) team during our prayer time and did some major healing and Holy Spirit work like only He can. And then Sunday night… Oh, Sunday night. Let's back up 8 hrs… During our morning worship we sang for the Lord to let it rain over Azua. Then come 6:00 that night, it started to pour. Literally, like monsoon style. We packed ourselves into Raul's car clown-style (10 people in a 5 passenger cab, oh yeah!) and headed to church. Our team got the chance to love on the congregation through story telling, drama, and reading God's word. We spoke of God's love and of how He has created us all equally perfectly for His purpose, how we should not compare ourselves to one another, and how we should go to the Father to let Him tell us how special we are to Him. And the Holy Spirit came and it rained, spiritually speaking!
God poured down His love on His children in the church. Hearts were being healed of comparison, and people were coming to a deeper understanding of God's love for them and how special they are to Him. We welcomed a sister into the Kingdom as a woman accepted Jesus!!!
And it rained on me a refreshing wave of peace and gladness and complete joy. I was full… I am full and reminded that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be for a time such as this.
Faces are becoming more familiar now. I'm learning the community and knowing names. My team is becoming more my family everyday, and I'm speaking more Spanish than I ever knew I could. I'm even singing Spanish songs in my head, and even though I don't really know what I'm singing, I know it is good and of God.
It's come to me that I'm going to have a whole new kind of goodbyes this season… another set and a different kind of preludes. One at the end of every month as we travel to a new country, and then one grande size one at the end of these 11 months. So staying in the vein that if you wave goodbye long enough, that eventually it turns into hello…….
Hello family. Hello friends. Hello home. Hello my baby kitties and sweet Spanky dog. Hello new world. Hello nations. Hello Dogckie. Hello new family. Hello new friends. Hello new brothers and sisters in Christ. Hello life.
There are going to be a lot of hellos this year. And one day, there will be no more goodbyes.
Hello Heaven. Hello my Jesus. Hello sweetest day.
Life abundant ~ Monica
