I was having a long, deep, exhausting conversation with friends the other night about faith, love, family, hurt, pain, grace…. you name it, we probably talked about it. And at one point, after many of us had described people or relationships that have grieved us deeply and really hurt us, someone in the circle said something like, “I know that these people in our lives have done horrible things to us and to our families but God gives them grace and we can be glad and hopeful that, because God’s given them grace. There’s grace for them too, and they’ll change and things will get better!”
Immediately, I wanted to flee this conversation as quickly as possible.
I hate comments like that. I hate conversations that go to that place. That place where someone says the expected, cliche, ‘Christianese’ phrase that’s supposed to make me feel good or hopeful or whatever. I hate that. It always feels like the person is trying to “fix” my problem or give me some hyper-spiritualized, anecdotal story about how THEY went through what I went through and my story will have a Hallmark card ending just like theirs did. Cue: extreme eye roll.
To me it’s just so counter-productive to the deep, real, painful truths that we are working together to uncover and heal as brothers and sisters in Christ.
I dunno… maybe I’m just a cynic.But I can’t stand that crap.
So I spoke up and said what I was thinking: No, grace DOESN’T make me hopeful for those people because grace given to them doesn’t automatically equal grace received by them! I’m not naive enough to think that everyone who hears the Gospel or is given grace, receives it. I live in the real world. Where non-believers exist and people blatantly refuse God’s grace and love.
The room goes silent at this point. And I’ve done it: I’ve said the “un-christian”, un-hopeful, politically incorrect thing. I’ve killed the vibe. Whoops. #SorryNotSorry
I go on to try and give examples but it doesn’t go well because I’m frustrated and emotional and annoyed…. but basically I was just trying to say this:
Let’s pretend grace is a brick. And God, when he’s being his awesome self, will throw bricks of Grace at me to knock some sense into me and help me because he loves me and wants me to be free from trials.
Well, sometimes he throws a brick at me and it bounces right off my hard head and lands at my feet. And there I am, with a stack of bricks at my feet, totally ignoring them and not picking them up. I ignore grace and am so blinded by my hard-headed selfishness that I don’t even notice the pile of Grace bricks at my feet. I refuse the Lord’s assistance.
And then other times, he throws a brick and I catch it and acknowledge it and cherish it and use it for my good, just the way God intended.
Modern day Evangelical Christians make grace out to be something that we just have. We just get it, voila! There’s no cost. And that’s all well and good because its true! Grace is an undeserved, FREE gift from God!!
But what they’re missing, what they’re blissfully ignoring is that grace requires a response. God requires a response. When God calls, I have a choice to answer or ignore. When God shines a light on an area of darkness in my life, I can respond by going to the light or ignoring it. It’s not enough to get hit in the face with a brick of grace and then just keep-on-keepin’-on without any response to the grace that was thrown at me.
When God gives grace and redemption and love and salvation to me, these are all things I must receive. The act of receiving is a VERB, it’s an action! See, that’s the bit that gets left out all to often.
Romans 10 talks about how we are saved by BELIEVING and CONFESSING: “For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved“(verse 10). See that? See how the salvation comes through the human BELIEVING and CONFESSING? See how the the verbs in the sentence are performed by the human? We must make a move! We must RESPOND to God’s miraculous grace, redemption and salvation!
Grace comes without a cost.
But it is received by the “cost” of: confessing him as the risen Savior, acknowledging weakness, recognizing God’s authority and perfection, repenting of my sin and dying to myself(among other things).
So, excuse me, if I don’t say the “politically correct Christian answer”.
It’s just that some people in my life truly do not appear to have received the bricks that God has been throwing at them for years. They’re still quite happy with their pride and arrogance and selfishness and anger.
And if I’m honest: no, I’m not incredibly hopeful that some people in my life will one day pick up a grace brick, acknowledge & accept it and then stop being hurtful, difficult, toxic people. No. If I’m honest with you: I’m weak.
I’m weak and I know that I’ve got a pile of grace bricks lying at my feet too.
I’m weak and I know that I’ve got to try work through these tough relationships and let the light of Jesus shine through me when all I want to do is give some people a swift kick in the butt.
I’m weak. Sometimes, I lose hope. Sometimes I give up on people.
I’m weak! I’m not able to pray for my enemies all the time!
But that’s where I just turn it over to God and let Him be strong in my weakness. I think that’s a pretty good place to start, don’t you?
