As thoughts flowed into my mind about what to blog about, what has been happening in my life, the lyrics “I may be weak but your Spirit’s strong in me. My flesh may fail but my God, You never will,” flooded into my ears. Those words like a river that filled every ounce of me. Words that completely described how I’ve been feeling.
The weeks before Winter Break have been nothing but stress. Stress for getting ready for finals, Stress having to study, and stress with the pressure of getting the highest grades I could. School became my focus and I pushed God behind. My devotion time became reading words on a page, words I read without going deeper. It became me going through the motions. Life is an easy distraction from God so, the words “I am weak,” are oh so true. I am weak. I don’t give God enough of the time He deserves; I let life point me in other directions instead of letting God point me in His direction.
It became harder and harder to hear His voice the longer I sat, the distance growing between us. Saturday I was doing my devotion at night when it dawned upon me like fog clearing from an open field. My eyes became clear, focused on the words and the amazing truth behind each one. While sitting there with the words staring back at me I realized that I don’t want anymore distance to drag me further away form God in this sea of life. I have to swim back to Him full force like a magnet that is being pulled to its connecting side. I am the magnet. No matter how far I drift I am able to come back and attach to God, the bigger stronger piece that is always there to help find my way back. “Your Spirit’s strong in me”.
Lately I’ve been longing to hear Gods voice so I can go deeper, get into a more intimate relationship, to experience the real God that is always with me. As I was digging deeper, knowing Him more, it became clear that I can’t do anything without God. I can’t build relationships, love, connect with people, etc. All I do is because of God.
God is the reason why I live. He is the reason why I want to live entirely for Him, to further His kingdom, but I can’t do that with His voice being muffled. As I dug deeper into a more intimate relationship with God my eyes became open to the fact that nothing can happen through me without God. I’m wrong thinking the good I’ve done has been through me, because that a lie. It’s from my obedience to the Holy Spirit where God moves and uses me to further his kingdom, “My flesh may fail but my God, You never will.” Without God I can’t do anything. And my flesh fails at this realization. My flesh fails constantly at not giving God all of my time, my focus, but through it all He still uses me with my failing flesh. I have realized that it’s not my job to reach the world but it’s my job to obey the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit will reach the world for Christ. And God’s voice can’t be muffled. I have to have all my ears and eyes focused on Him so I can hear the Holy Spirit. And most of all I’ve realized that I can’t but God can!
This calling God has put on my life cannot happen without your help! I still need to raise over 13K so I am asking if you would consider donating even a very small amount to help me reach my total. Every donation is tax deductible. And Thank You so much for reading my first blog post!
