I’m a horse girl. I have been my whole life. No, I wasn’t one of those kids that trotted around the playground. I was chasing boys and taking head shots playing tether-ball. Much cooler.
Anyways…
We’ve gone horseback riding a few times this year. My team always looks at me even at the mention of a horse. I love it.
Back in America, people care about liabilities. Helmets, close-toed shoes, walking in circles around a coral with 14 other kids and 15 bored horses.
I’ve been thinking about camp a lot. It’s my first summer in 19 years not being at camp. Actually, the Race is camp on steroids. Basically Survivor.
Back to rules. Lots of them in America. If you could imagine a completely opposite experience, you are beginning to understand life in over here in the countryside of Azerbaijan.
We went to our friend’s house in a village the other night and the dad brought out his horse. He saddled him up and took some time putting on the bridle. This is a bit disconcerting. I’m thinking, “Has this horse ever been ridden?” He looks at me and points at the horse. I’m wearing sandals and my thin comfy pants.
Immediately, all the warnings of former barn girls and counselors come to mind. Close-toed shoes, preferably steel-toed. Helmet. Jeans. There are good reasons for all of these. All safety precautions.
As I get on the horse, I feel bare and naked. Like I was going to get hurt. I wasn’t dressed for this. All of the red flags were flying high in my mind. Sirens in my head. But for the umpteenth time this year, I could hear my dad’s advice to me before I left in January. “Say yes to experiences.” This isn’t the first time this instruction has led me into a possibly dangerous situation.
I understood God. He was who I pleased so I could live my life. I spent a few years disobeying. So, I signed up for this trip to get rid of all the sin so I could please God so I could live my life. I was banking on this year to fix me.
By my surprise, I fell in love with Jesus. I became dependent on God, my Father. And I learned how to walk in step with Holy Spirit.
At first, I was hesitant. The people around me were saying things. Strange things. Deliverance. Inner healing. Physical healing. Tongues. Nope.
I still cringe a bit when I think of tongues. Even though I have asked the Holy Spirit for the gift a few times now. We’re fickle beings, aren’t we?
All this to say, God doesn’t follow our rules.
I thought I needed to put on close-toed shoes to approach the throne of God which looked like going to church and small group religiously. Instead, God asks me to put on the shoes of the gospel of peace. Still go to church, people.
I thought I had to put on a helmet that looks like knowing all of the Bible. Nope. He asks me to put on the helmet of salvation. To let Jesus consume me.
I thought I had to wear jeans to protect chafing which looked like only having Christian friends. No way. He asks me to put on the breastplate of righteousness so that I can be a friend of sinners. In the world, not of it.
God doesn’t make sense. Living kingdom life is backwards. Upside down. The first shall be last and the last shall be first. Count others as more important than yourself. Lose your life and you will find it.
Life isn’t about obeying God. It’s about learning how much He loves you and returning that love. It looks like obeying Him. But after learning how much He loves me, I would do anything for Him. He’s gracious and true.
Pray for me! I’m learning about insecurities I’ve had. God is bringing me into a new season of deeper dependence on Him. I feel left out sometimes. I feel dumb sometimes. I feel like I’m not enough a lot of the times. But God says something different. Pray for me as I surrender these fears to Him.
Also, you should surrender your fears to God too. You can’t handle them. So why not give them to Him? God will walk you through it and handle pretty much everything. Then He’ll call it your victory. He is so gracious and kind.
