I love it when I’ll hear a story 700 times but one day it clicks.
Literally I’ve already written about Moses and how his story impacted me.Tonight in my worship service at my church, my youth pastor was speaking about Moses.. and he spoke about how Moses didn’t find worth in what he had to say. Moses thought he was useless in the sight of the lord because of the things he struggled with: anger, and fear that his words had no weight.
One thing I knew I have struggled with and with the help of God, I have overcome ALOT of. The other, was just brought to my attention. I would look at other world racer blogs, Christian instagramers, Christian bloggers and things of that sort and think to myself, if I only read my bible more, if I only pray more and get closer to God, I’ll be able to have that weight with my words. To be able to influence others with what I was saying. In all honesty if I had actually taken a look at myself I would think, I have no purpose in talking to others, my words don’t hold meaning and God isn’t using me like he’s using these other people. To go even more surface level, i was looking in the mirror and not giving God the glory, I was seeing all the imperfections. And even though I know in my heart, I am “God’s masterpiece” I was seeing myself as, not enough and comparing myself just like I had been in other areas in my life. To sum it up, in all areas I was comparing myself to others in harmful ways, and not finding my worth in my creator.In my constant struggle to see myself as unworthy, and in sin, I hadn’t seen that the lord was with me all those times I had screwed up, and boy do I know how to screw up. The guilt and the shame were on my shoulders, and never did I try to take them off and put them at the feet of God. The same things I had been telling other people, “give it to God, nothing is too small or too great” I wasn’t doing myself.
Tonight we listened to Here again by elevation worship, I had heard it a 100 times, and that many times had I not really payed any mind to the lyrics. “Not for a minute was I forsaken, the lord is in this place, the lord is in this place”. 100 times I hadn’t listen to that. And tonight, with shame and guilt on my shoulders, God said, I was with you. Even when you screw up, I will never leave you or forsake you. And “the lord is in this place” had never resonated with me, I always thought, yeah God’s in this place, this building. NO, he’s in THIS place, the Holy Spirit of GOD lives in ME! So, here’s to laying down shame and guilt at the foot of the cross, because nothing is too small or too great for our savior.
“I asked God, “why do you still love me, why after all the things I’ve done do you still want my heart?”
He answered me, “I made you for me. And as long as you let me, I will save you from yourself.”
