When I think about The World Race I think about all the other people in the world. I think about how I am getting to help others. I think about how other people have been through things I couldn’t even imagine going through. I think about how much I am going to help the world and create such a better place.
We are prepared and trained for situations that may occur on the race, things about what to do if you lose your luggage, or never be alone because things can happen, what to do if our passport gets stolen. We are told that there will be days we don’t have running water, or we might not have electricity. We are prepared for many things that could happen.
We have actually been living very nicely so far, showers with warm water, wi-fi, beds and pillows, and so many other things to be grateful about. In terms of ministry, this month has been amazing. We have been working at the homeless shelter, and packaging donations for the refugees. I have also enjoyed working in the kitchen, frying fish, chopping veggies, and butchering chickens, which I never thought I would enjoy anything that involves prepping food, but I did!
Butttt, this month has been the hardest in terms of communication and community living. We started out this month super excited, energized, and ready for whatever was thrown our way. Very quickly frustrations emerged and I was over all of it. We were being told that we had to be at this place at this time, then it was “oh, just kidding, we found out that meeting is next week”, we were being told that this policy says this but last month we were told the same policy says something else. We were told to be at this place at this time, and the time had actually been moved back an hour. Most days if you asked someone what we were doing the next day person A said we were doing this, person B says we are doing this, and Person C says we are doing this, and the only thing that all 3 people have in common is what time we are waking up, and that’s about where the similarities end. It quickly led to high anxiety and emotions of anger and annoyance.
On top of that this month there were 9 of us in one room and 12 of us on our hall. There is one bathroom that has 2 showers and 2 toilets, so even in the bathroom there is usually someone else in there while you are there. There has been absolutely no alone time or any moments to get my thoughts and feelings in order. Even when I am in my bed, reading a book, listening to music, or watching a movie, there are still 6-11 other people gathered around my bed and I can hear ever word of the conversation, so to me, that is not alone time.
As an introvert, I need time to be alone. I need time to gather my thoughts, feelings, and life together, and there has been no time to do that this month. I also get flustered and aggravated when I hang around the same people for a couple of days and don’t get a break. So this trip has challenged me in that.
The other day, all of my frustrations came to a head. I allowed myself to finally blow up. I woke up the morning of Thanksgiving and found out that time time of something we were doing that morning had gotten changed, and I missed the memo. This was the last straw for me. I had kept all my emotions in check for the past 4 months, so it was about time for a blow up anyway. I decided to let out my frustrations in some yells and a few choice words. I then called my mom to vent a little bit, and calm down before I processed what was going on. I am sure that my emotions were also on edge because it was Thanksgiving, and my first holiday not being at home, so that didn’t help either. As the day went by, I allowed myself to focus on other things, I prayed a lot and asked for a heart of patience and grace. Lucky for me, the Lord always provides, so that was nice. By the time that evening came, I was able to share my frustrations with my team during feedback and they were able to help me process them and realize where my triggers came from.
I say all of this to let you know that this trip has been so wonderful, but it has been challenging in so many ways for my sanity. I am not one to talk about my feelings much, and I realized I haven’t let you guys in on much of how I have been emotionally doing on this whole trip.
So far, I have been with the same 5 girls every single day since August 5th, so needless to say, we have learned each others strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and passions. We have become family, so its easy to get annoyed with each other, but at the end of the day we will fight for each other. Miscommunications happen, and frustrations will arise, and the world race is not immune to all these typical things. We live and we learn, but mostly, we love each other whole heartedly and share in our joys and frustrations, no matter what.
This is our last week in Malaysia. We leave on Sunday to Thailand, and we will be there for all of December. I will be in Bangkok, Thailand to celebrate my birthday and Christmas! We are super excited, stay tuned for the elephant pictures that will be coming!
Also, we have our final fundraising deadline coming up in 2 days and some of my teammates have more to raise! Please pray for them as we come down to the final days of fundraising! Please contact me if you want to know how you can help!
