If there is anything I have realized since being accepted on the amazing journey, and telling everyone about it…there are two big questions.
1. Where all are you going?
2. Are you excited/scared?
The first question is a breeze. I can name all 11 counties right off the bat. That is the easy questions, I have memorized where I will be going, I have looked at the world race website so many times and learned about these counties. I know that God will be with me every step of the way while I am in the counties, serving him and sharing his love.
The second questions is a little harder to answer. I am very excited! Who wouldn’t want to serve the Lord all over the world? At first, I was really only feeling excitement, but now, as I am about to graduate, go home for the summer, experience training camp, gather the rest of my gear, and leave in August…I am getting very apprehensive. I say that not because I think I will struggle with experiencing new countries, not because I will not make friends, but because of all the people I am leaving behind for a year.
I will be making so many new friends, meeting so many new people, and honestly living a life most people can only dream of. I have met some of my teammates, and they are all great! I know that I will not have any trouble conning with them and creating a new family while I am gone. But… there is still the thought of leaving my best friends, not being here for holidays with my family, but more importantly leaving my parents.
I have noticed that the closer the time comes the less I am the one who brings up the topic. I have noticed that I really only talk about it when people ask me questions or when someone else brings it up. It is not that I don’t want to share this experience with literally every person I meet, I am just realizing how nervous I am about leaving.
I know I can take care of myself, I am sure both of my parents will tell you that, as well as how hard headed and independent I am. They both know I am capable of being alone, of taking on this journey whole-heartedly, but I am very anxious I am about leaving them. When I was younger, I remember going on a trip to Jamaica for 2 weeks. I remember thinking, wow, I could live here and not be homesick, no problem at all! Now I am about to leave and one of my biggest fears is leaving my mom and dad. My mom is my best friend and I talk to her about 3-5 times a day, so knowing that I will not talk to her that much is upsetting. I know that she is going to worry, as well as my dad. He is the protector of the family, the worrier of his children. He is going to worry the most. I understand where my dad’s fear comes from, I am in college an hour and a half away from home, they can get her quick, fast, and in a hurry if something is to happen to me, but with me being in another country, it is not that easy. To my parents: I am so thankful to have such supportive, caring, and loving people in my life. They have always made me feel as if I can do anything I want. Always encouraged me. Always made/make me feel loved. They are the ones that have taught me to love. The ones that have taught me to be a good person. They are the ones that I don’t give enough credit too for EVERYTHING they do for me. They are my best friends.
This trip will be not only a way for God to change me, but this is going a time that my family and I really turn to God when we are feeling anxious about me being so far away. This trip will be for my parents as well. I know the Lord is going to work though them and change their lives as well while I am gone. I feel so confident in the Lord when it comes to this challenge, but I know that it will be just that, a challenge.
