So I wrote this blog almost a week ago and I’ve been a horrible blogger and didn’t put it up. Life has been crazy busy! Sorry that it’s late, but her you go! 🙂
The other day someone mentioned that I had not written a blog in a while and asked me when I was going to write another one. I really didn’t realize just how long it has been since my last one. Life has seriously been so crazy and busy that I haven’t been able to slow down. I haven’t been able to get to know my team mates like I want to, and I haven’t been able to stop and focus on myself.
I had some free time this past weekend to just stop and think…..it’s pretty easy when you’re stuck in a car for an 8 hour trip to Georgia.
I usually over-think and over analyze EVERYTHING! Usually, that’s a bad thing, but I think this time it’s what I needed.
I thought to myself:
“Why do I think the way I think?”
“What’s my reasoning behind the choices and decisions I make?”
“Why is it that I never see myself as good enough even when others tell me that I am?”
And there’s really only one reason for thinking those things.
I am broken.
I’ve come to realize that I haven’t faced some of my past hurts. Yes, I’ve forgiven the people who hurt me, but I’ve allowed the hurt to fester in my head and affect the way I think and make decisions DAILY. I have some serious trust issues that I need to get over.
I have such low self-esteem that it keeps me from doing things that I want to do.
All of that needs to stop.
I have to face my fears and past hurts so they don’t affect me anymore.
What better way to do that than go on The World Race?!
I’ll have to trust complete strangers. Yes, I’ll get to know them and love them, but they’ll be strangers at first. They’ll see me at me strongest, but they’ll also see me at my absolute weakest (which I usually don’t let people see) They will have to help me pick up all my broken pieces and put them back together….and I will have to let them.
I’m learning that The World Race isn’t going to just be about serving others. It’s a pretty big part of it, but it will also be about ME growing in Christ and becoming the person He wants me to be.
God’s got some work to do in this girl. I know it will be hard at times but I cannot wait to see the person I will become next year. I fully believe that when my feet hit the US soil after almost a year I will be a completely different person.
Changed for the better.
Changed in Christ.
