October 3, 2011
The three months, I have been on the race, and I have not yet had the experience of having something really affect me, down to the core of my soul. The kind of feeling that stays with you for a longtime, and you’re unable to shake it off. The feeling you get when you hear you lost a loved one, suddenly. Or the feeling you get when you get a phone call saying there has been an accident. I’m talking about the news you get, that you can’t wrap your finger around it.
Lydia is an 8 month old baby girl, who should be starting to crawl, and starting to eat whole foods, and is on the brink of death as we speak. Lydia, whose mother tries her hardest to support her family, but can’t because her boyfriend spends the food money on booze nightly. Lydia is nothing but skin and bones, and on Saturday she stopped eating. Her mother tried everything she could to get her to eat, but nothing worked.
She called Heidi, on Sunday crying her eyes out, saying “I’m a bad mother; I can’t take care of my children I shouldn’t even deserve to live”. She continues to tell Heidi that her boyfriend hasn’t been at the house in two days, and she has no way of taking Lydia to the hospital. Heidi tells her that she will take then on Monday if they can get to El Jordan.
Monday night I see Heidi, with Lydia’s mother holding Lydia as she cries. The look of desperation on her face reads loud and clear in my mind. The look of maybe losing her child is written on her face. Kristen and I started to pray for Lydia. Kristen holding her in her hands, Lydia’s head just rolls back not able to support it because she is so weak. I pick her up and hold her tight and started to pray very hard for her to survive. Holding her, I feel like I could break her for she is so fragile. For the few minutes I held her she stopped crying, and I tried to comfort her and pleading with God to save her.
The look in her eyes, even at a young age read in my mind of giving up. I felt her little body just giving up in my arms, and I was asking God to please let her just hold on for a few more hours. For I know it isn’t her time to be with God yet. For she has her whole life to live for, and that she will be the grain that will tip the scale, and have a better life then her parents have.
Lydia you precious little girl, I pray that you are healed by God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. For you are strong, and you are a fighter! It is not your time to go.
