So, I cut my hair off into a pixie cut. Pictures are at the bottom of this post if that is all you are here to see, but if you would like to know the motivation behind that action, then keep on reading! It won’t be life changing, or super inspiring, but hopefully it will help me be able to share with everyone what I am learning and figuring through so far.
1- “At least I have good hair.”
It had become my own redeeming quality, and I could hide my insecurities and flaws behind it. I put far to much value in it, and far to little value in everything else I had to offer. And honestly, I have a lot more to offer than “good hair”.
2-“Oh my gosh, your hair is so pretty!”
I made my hair my identifier and I thrived off complements from others. I gave to much power to others on that regard. If a day passed where I did not receive complements, then that negatively effected my mood. I needed to give myself the opportunity to build my self confidence off of my thoughts on my self and my relationship with the Lord.
3-“No! Do NOT cut your hair!”
A comment from friends, past boyfriends, and even some family members. In the past I had asked their opinion and I listened, which isn’t bad, but I never gave myself the opportunity to make the decision myself. I was too insecure to step out on the ledge and take the leap. But I am so glad I did now.
4-“Wow, could you take any longer in the shower?!”
My long hair was just super inconvenient for the life I am living. A lot of the places I am staying this year either have really poor water pressure or bucket showers, and it took a ton of time to wash my hair in those situations. Even then I would just throw my hair up in a bun for the day. And then who knew when I would get the chance to shower again. Short hair is really so much easier.
And you know what readers? I still have “good hair.” It still is “pretty.” I still value the comments of friends and family. Compliments are nice. But since doing this, I feel like I gave myself a blank canvas to take before God, where I can build my own value and self-confidence. Sounds like a lot for a little haircut to change, but it is more of what it signifies. The thought behind it is more important to me than the actual haircut itself. I will still struggle with everything listed above, but this is only step one in a year filled with hundreds of steps, and I am excited to see what pathway those steps lead me to.
